Satisfaction Not Guaranteed
by rendezvous-in-paris1892
Summary: SxS, ExT Under Reconstruction...Chapter 2 redone and finished!
1. Chapter 1

**Satisfaction Not Guaranteed (CCS Version)**

**Chapter 1: Complaints and Replies**

disclaimer: I don't own CCS. Oh well...

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To: R. Shay, Shay International, Chief CEO

From: S. Li, Li Corp., Chief CEO

Sub: Your Sanity

To: R. Shay:

I just bought your SparkleShell communication device for all my employees. To be blunt, I was not pleased. To pay that much for a worthless piece of junk is unacceptable and makes me quite agitated. So, when I wrote your company about this, I happened to receive no response what so ever and I waited for months anticipated it.

The pictures of the SparkleShell you have on the Capture Net are gorgeous, with beautiful colors, and a perfect size. It looked like a bombshell when we opened it. The clamshell design was fat and it was a dirty blackish, brown color. And the features! They were so limited, and barely had any. It was as if all one could do on it was make calls and go through the Capture Net after an eternity of loading. The service was also quite horrible. You see, we did try it for a month or so, and when we called for the worker man to come and activate all our accounts, he didn't finish it and instead ran off with my secretary, whom I fired right away. He never even finished it. And then when I called your company, I was put on the line for hours and then was told that every person was busy. Not to mention the letter with no response.

I would like you to take all of them back and give us a full refund. Actually, I would prefer it if you and your people would go and jump off a helicopter into the ocean and drown, but we can't always have our preferences, can we? How you could invent such an idiotic item and use that false advertising is beyond my knowledge. I have also decided to sue you, mostly because of your lack of decent service. You know I can- I am the most richest and powerful being in Japan. Happy holidays, from Li Corp. by the way.

The person that questions your sanity,

S. Li

Li Corp., Chief CEO

'_The future of innovation.'_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

To: S. Kinomoto, Rendezvous in Luxury, V.P.

From: S. Li, Li Corp., Chief CEO

Sub: Displeased

To: S. Kinomoto:

I have just finished typing and sending another complaint magik-mail, so I'll make this brief. I just bought a very expensive silk shirt from your clothing manufacturer that had a hole in it. And when I tried to return it, the manager at the time, Richard Shanks, rudely refused to take it back. That does not make me happy and you know my status in society. I can have your job, which I will and give it to someone more worthy. Yes, that's right. I'm suing your company for lack of service after I sue Shay International. And, as I told Shay International, you know I have the complete power to sue you. So, if I were you, I would go start packing and plan your retirement in the swanky parts of New York. After all, isn't that where all the fashion bimbos live?

Have a depressing and injury filled holiday. Cheers!

S. Li

Li Corp., Chief CEO

'_The future of innovation.'_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

To: S. Li, Vampire Corp., King of Vampires

From: R. Shay, Morning International, Vampire Slayer

Sub: How long it would take to kill you…

Li-

I have spent hours agonizing over your order and everything that had to do with you and your arrogant backside. You have no right at all to sue us, idiot. We keep a watch on all of our 'man workers' with a hidden camera that records the installation process at all times, for business purposes, of course. I have to say, it was quite amusing to see you bossing that brother-sister pair around. They are siblings, Li, and he saw you sexually harassing her, which gives us the right to sue you, instead. Oh, and about the service- all our employees 'know' who you are. We basically told them to be, as you would probably say, rude, idiotic bimbos. And if you do sue us, we have the tapes as evidence of your sexual activities. Need I say more? You are right. Happy holidays!

Shay

P.S. My father is the head judge in the court I'm suing you in. Just something I thought you'd like to know.

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To: No money

From: Without Me

Sub: What do I pay you for?

Hiroganza-

I need a lawyer now! So get off your lazy ass and go find one. All of the ones for us left because they called me difficult. Me! Difficult! So what are you waiting for? What do I pay you for anyway?

Li

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To: S. Li, Li Corp., Chief CEO

From: Service/S-bot

Sub: Fwd: Displeased

Greetings Mr. Li:

Miss. Kinomoto is unable to reply to your m-mail. All complaints are forwarded on to this customer service site. If you would like to do business regarding Miss. Kinomoto, please contact her at We appreciate doing business with you and hope to see around sometime.

Automatically,

Rendezvous in Luxury- Customer Service S-Bot

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R&R!


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: Satisfaction Not Guaranteed

**Rating**: T (for some swearing and sexual references)

**Disclaimer:** Alas, it's not mine, and never will be.

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8/18/2006: SOOOO...Chapter 2 has been completely redone...and since I guess I made a huge, horrible mistake of uploading Chapter 3 twice, chapter 2 would have been pretty new anyway.

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**Chapter 2: Lawyer Request**

**------**

_You've reached my voicemail. Name and number and I'll get back to you. Except if you're one of those girls who's looking for Syaoran Li, because I'm not going to give you his number. But feel free to leave your number for me! BEEP!_

_Wow, Hiragizawa. Using your voicemail to try to hook up with girls that are interested in me? Anyway, any new news on this dilemma yet? Maybe a lawyer? If you haven't gotten one yet, HURRY UP, or I'll, I'll do something that I'll think of later. _

_You don't have to be so, like, harsh, about it! And I thought that you, like, sounded, like hot, too. You know what? Like, fine, I don't need your, like help, I'll, just, like, meet him myself!_

_Yeah, it's, like, me again. This is, like, a very emotional time for me, and you, just, like, made me, like cry!_

_And no, I'm not, like, leaving my number!_

_------_

To: Andrews & Fib Law Firm, CSI 2 Lawyer's Agency, Sean Jon's LFS

From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

Sub: Lawyer Request

To the above mentioned, respected, law firms:

We, at Li Corp., are in need of a lawyer. Out previous lawyers from the A&F Firm have left us because of quite unlucky circumstances. While we do miss their presence, we feel that they were not very experienced, compared to the experience and power all of your law firms have. So, to the point, so I do not take up all of your time, it would greatly please us if you would consider becoming out partners in law. We _do_ and _will_ pay you greatly. Thank you for your time.

E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

'The future of _innovation_.'

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Magik M.E.M.O

September 15

10:07 AM

Hey Li

Who rules now? All three firms have replied to my m-mail. So ha.

Hiragizawa

P.S. If I didn't get a lawyer, you would do something you'd think of later? What kind of threat is that?

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Magik M.E.M.O

September 15

10:08 AM

H.

Your childish taunts are quite amusing.

So putting that aside, what did they say?

L.

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Magik M.E.M.O

September 15

10: 09 AM

Li

I haven't read them yet.

I'm still basking in the glory of knowing that _you_ would be dead meat without _me_.

Hiragizawa

P.S. Too ashamed to rebuke to your sad, sad threat?

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Magik M.E.M.O

September 15

10:11 AM

H.

You know that I could fire you right now, right?

L.

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Magik M.E.M.O

September 15

10:12

Li

No. I didn't.

You wouldn't.

Hiragizawa

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Magik M.E.M.O

September 15

10:13 AM

H.

I can.

And I would.

So. Hurry up and open their damn reply!

L.

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To: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

From: Andrews & Fib Law Firm

Sub: Re: Lawyer Request

Mr. Hiragizawa. We at Andrews and Fib feel that we should decline your request.

Why, you might ask?

Simply because you, at Li Corp., are a bunch of IDIOTS! We used to work for you- A&F Andrews & Fib? Goodness, we knew you were a tad slower than Mr. Li, but this is ridiculous! You say we left because of unlucky circumstances, when it was really because of your…your…your…shall we say it? Yes we shall. Your DICTATOR like boss! Mr. Chang needed a day off to have a very, very necessary kidney implant, and he tells him to go work on his fifty forth sexual harassment case, which have all (the sexual harassment cases and every other mundane thing Mr. Li has had us do) been sent to every other law firm in the country.

Good luck finding a lawyer now! No one handles sexual harassment cases like us, anyway. After all, we are Andrews and FIB.

And don't get us started on how inferior A&F is to Andrews and Fib.

Here's hoping you get under the mistletoe this upcoming Christmas season and have to kiss a skunk.

Thank you for _your_ time.

Andrews and Fib Law Firm

'_We're no Pinocchio- Pay us, and we'll get you out of it.' _

_------_

To: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

From: CSI 2 Lawyers' Agency

Sub: Re: Lawyer Request

Wow.

Fifty four sexual harassment cases…

Tell Li he is so cool!

I mean he is horrible. Please refrain from asking us to work for you again because no amount of money in the world is worth it.

CSI 2 Lawyers' Agency

'Who needs originals, when you have _us_?'

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To: I'm so impressed!

From: I'm so impressed!

Sub: I'm so impressed!

Sorry, my boss was watching me. Rock on dudes. You guys are too cool. Fifty four…he is my hero.

-Name cannot be revealed because this person still wants to keep his job, despite how impressed he is.

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To: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

From: Sean John's LFS

Sub: Re: Lawyer Request

Mr. Hiragizawa

Even if we _were_ a law firm, we still wouldn't agree to your offer. But luckily, we are Sean John's Leading Food Service, so we cannot help you.

What would the S stand for?

Sean John's LFS

'Where _quantity_ comes before _quality_.'

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Magik M.E.M.O

September 15

10:23 AM

H.

So. Have you finished reading yet?

L.

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Magik M.E.M.O

September 15

10: 25 AM

H.

It shouldn't take you this long. I think I had taught you how to read quite well.

L.

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Magik M.E.M.O

September 15

10: 27 AM

H.

Answer me NOW!

L.

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Magik M.E.M.O

September 15

10: 28 AM

H.

It appears your vocabulary skills have disappeared alongside your reading ability. Now means at this moment!

L.

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Magik M.E.M.O

September 15

10:29 AM

H.

Then again, you wouldn't have been able to read that…

L.

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Magik M.E.M.O

September 15

10: 31 AM

**HIRAGIZAWA!**

**------**

Mr. Li?

What is it, Lily? It better be good. You know I hate to be interrupted.

That's not my name!

It's not?

No it's, oh never mind. Anyway, your messaging staff just wants you to know that Mr. Hiragizawa won't be able to read any of the numerous M.E.M.O.s you've been sending for a while because he hastily left fifteen minutes ago.

Hastily left, huh?

Yeah, it was like he was running from a hive of bees or something. Oh, he knocked over that glass statue of you in the front, too.

'…'

Mr. Li, your face is turning quite red. Did you eat something with blueberries in it? You should know by now that you're allergic to them.

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To: M. Li, Agent 012

From: Tai's House of Law Agency

Sub: Your résumé

Miss. Li:

I am afraid that after a wonderful four years with you, the board, feels that you should go. We are all terribly sorry, but it has been decided. There has just been some…opinions of yours that have torn the company apart, and we cannot have that. However, we will thank you for your time, and wish you well in the future.

Tai's House of Law Agency

'We _breathe_ law.'

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To: Oh My Goodness

From: Oh My Goodness

Sub: Oh My Goodness

Tomoyo

They fired me. FIRED! They said it was because of my opinions, and, you know what? It damn well was. They didn't like my 'feminist' views. Even though I've never lost a case for them! Well, that male-dominated place will regret the day that they sacked me. ME! ME!

Meiling

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_FireAngel: You know what?_

_ChiChi: You…you…wait for it…you love Eriol?_

_FireAngel: Ha-ha. Very funny. ; )_

_FireAngel: But, no, seriously, guess what. Syaoran needs a lawyer SO bad. _

_FireAngel: And do you know where Tomo is? I sent her an m-mail hours ago._

_ChiChi: I know, but this is important because? _

_ChiChi: I mean, no offense, but that pervert kinda deserves to get sued one of these days. _

_ChiChi: She's probably making plans. You know her friend Sakura Kinomoto is coming, right?_

_FireAngel: No, but I could be his lawyer!_

_FireAngel: Yeah, can't wait to meet her._

_ChiChi: Come again?_

_FireAngel: You know how that big shot lawyer agency in Taiwan that I worked at just fired me?_

_ChiChi: I don't like where this is going…_

_FireAngel: Well, if I can win one of Syaoran's cases, they'll curse the day that they let me go._

_FireAngel: Come on, Syaoran's sexual harassment cases are legendary._

_ChiChi: Yeah, but you just got out of this…horrible time in your life…could you handle it? And they're not going to just give it to you…I'm sure Li won't be thrilled…_

_FireAngel: Yeah, but Eriol will…_

_ChiChi: What are you saying, Mei?_

_FireAngel: You'll see, Chi. You'll see._

_-----_

_Taiwan is a bitchy place. BEEP!_

_Ok. Nice…yeah. Um, it's Tomoyo…Um, do you need to talk?_

_------_

Knock, knock, knock!

Open up Hiragizawa!

Knock, knock, knock!

If you know what's good for you, dude, you better open up!

I'm not here!

Dude, Li brought a gun!

'…'

Ha, you owe me twenty, Li. Told you I could get him to open the door.

You brought Yamizaki? He's your gun?

He wanted to come! Wait, don't change the subject! I need to talk to you. In private. That means _you_ Yamizaki.

Fine. I'll go to the bathroom, and let you two lovers have the living room.

You're lucky I'm occupied right now.

So, Li, old buddy, old pal. What could you possibly want?

Oh nothing. Just wondering how you could embarrass me this much! Within the last thirty minutes, I have received countless m-mails from law firms all over the country saying how evil and pathetic I was, and that I _deserve_ to get sued! Well?

…Yes…?

What. Did. You. Do.

Oh wait, what do you know? It's 12:00! I have to go to therapy! Bye!

Wait, you bimbo…come back here!

Li, where did he say he was going?

Why do you care Yamizaki?

Because I thought he said therapy. And he doesn't have that until 4:00.

HIRAGIZAWA!

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To: Tomoyo

From: Mei

Sub:

Don't worry about me, Tomo. I'm fine. I'm just planning the downfall of that hellish place, is all. Nothing bad. Perfectly innocent.

Meiling

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To: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

From: Tai's House of Law, Agent 012

Sub:

To Mr. Hiragizawa:

I, coming from the private, but highly respected law firm of Tai, have decided to offer my solitary service to your company. Contact me if you would like my services…but honestly, at this point, I think I'm all your company has.

Agent 012

Tai's House of Law

'We _breathe_ law.'

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To: Tai's House of Law, Agent 012

From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

Sub: Re:

Alright, you got it. But I need to check you out. Security purposes, of course. So, sir, I'll see you at Sushi House tomorrow at noon?

E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

'The future of _innovation_.'

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To: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

From: Tai's House of Law, Agent 012

Sub: Re: Re:

I'll be there.

Agent 012

Tai's House of Law

'We _breathe_ law.'

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_If you think I'll call you back- You're mental. BEEP!  
_

_Hey Li, we got a lawyer! I'm going to meet them tomorrow at noon!_

_------_

Mr. Hiragizawa. How nice to see you. But you know your session isn't for another three hours.

I needed to talk to you, but don't worry, it'll only take a few minutes.

How very convenient it is then, that you happened to stop by during my break.

Tell me about it, huh?

All right, tell me, what is wrong?

Well, you see, I think I'm in trouble.

Yes...

Well, actually, not me. I think 'my friend' is in trouble.

My. Hiragizawa, I have been with you for five years. I think you should have figured out that I know who your 'friend' is.

You should know all my friends...After all I pay you a hundred dollars an hour to listen to me.

Oh never mind. What's wrong with your 'friend', _now?_

Well, you see I feel as if, I mean, my friend, feels as if his friends don't give him enough credit for things. Actually, not really. More just that he thinks that his friends boss him around too much and think that he will do whatever they say. And my, I mean, his one friend who's a girl, seems to be more on edge for the past couple of months ever since Li's cousin. Meiling Li came into town. I mean, not to her, but to him.

Mr. Hiragizawa, my next client will be here in a couple of minutes, so I'll make this brief. Tell Mr. Li and Mr. Yamizaki that you are in control and will hire someone to beat them up if they don't give you any respect. And for your friend who is female, think about what's wrong. What's bothering her. Maybe she feels that Miss. Li has been stealing herr attention from you.

Are you sure she's not just pregnant or something? Oh, she's probably on her period!

For a couple of months?

Irregular periods?

Good bye, Mr. Hiragizawa.

Dr. Zang, you're not going to tell me to tell my friends how I feel?

Do that only if you want to be ridiculed for the rest of your life by them.

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Miss. Li. Anything wrong today?

Yeah. You see, Dr. Zang, I kind of have this problem with my 'friend'.

Miss. Li, I...oh never mind. What's wrong with _your_ 'friend, now?

Well, you see, she just got fired from her big agency job, and now to g them back, she kind of e-mailed this company, in which I, I mean she, knows the bosses and C.E.O., under her old screen name that her big-shot company forgot to delete, and now, she feel a bit scared of what's going to happen to her. Because the bosses and stuff will kill when they meet her tomorrow.

Miss. Li, if I were you, I would just ask mr. Hiragizawa and Mr. Li if they would like you to represent them.

I was talking about my friend...

Right, and I am Superman in disguise. Good day, Miss. Li.

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Miss. Daidouji, how can I help you?

Well, Dr. Zang, you see, I have...

Wait, let me guess. 'Friend' problems?

How did you know? And what's with the air quotes?

Oh, lucky guess is all. Nothing, with the air quotes. Just for decorating the conversation, tis all. So what's wrong with your_ friend?_

Nothing, just, she feels I think, jealous of _her_ new friend because she's taking up all the time of her best guy friend. And I think she might have feelings for him.

You, I mean, your friend, or her friend?

Um, both?

Miss. Daidouji, tell Mr. Hiragizawa how you feel. He might believe you are pregnant?

Naw. Eriol's a bit dumb, but he isn't that stupid.

What?

You'd be surprised. Good day.

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_Hey, you've reached Tomoyo. Name, number, and I'll call you back. BEEP!_

_AHH! Tomoyo my psychologist, I mean, friend is Superman! How awesome is that? _

_------_

a/n: I'm pretty sure Li's not allergic to blueberries. That's all.

Hope you liked it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Satisfaction Not Guaranteed (CCS Version)**

**Chap. 3 Shocks and Sakura**

a/n: Yay! Sakura's finally here. Well, not really, but kinda- you'll see what I mean. Yeah, I confuse myself a lot. lol. Enjoy!

disclaimer: I don't own CCS.

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_Hello? It's Eriol._

_Are you there yet?_

_Where? In Paris?_

_Don't kid around Hiragizawa, you know perfectly well what I mean._

_Don't you mean where?_

_Hiragizawa…_

_Sorry. Yes, I am at Sushi House, but the person's not here yet._

_I don't like people that aren't punctual._

_So then who do you like?_

…

_Fine. You don't have to growl at me._

_You know, I don't think I can trust your instincts on this lawyer. Leave your phone on because I want to hear everything you say._

_Got it, boss man. Oh hey, Meiling's here. I'm just going to leave the phone face up, ok?_

_You better not hang up…_

_Hey Eriol! What's up?_

_Hey. I'm just waiting for our lawyer applicant. Syaoran doesn't like whoever it is very much so far because they aren't punctual._

_Oh. Well, Syaoran has to like me._

_Of course he likes you. You are his cousin._

_Yep, and his future lawyer!_

_Excuse me?_

_I said I am his cousin and future lawyer!_

_What?_

_Do I have to repeat myself again?_

_WAIT, WHAT? Hiragizawa, give her the damn phone so I can talk to her!_

_Hey, Syaoran. Or should I say future business partner!_

_Don't squeal! What do you mean you're my lawyer? You graduated last out of your class! You wrote that you were the top of your class?_

_Yes, I am! I am the richest, classiest person there. I meant social standings of course. Anyway, I was serious. You're not going to find anyone else and I did learn a thing or two there. _

_Li, she is the best we've got._

_Stay out of this Hiragizawa. All right. Does this show you how desperate I am? You can help us. M-mail me, since I am in Tokyo right now, and we'll talk about the case. DON'T forget!_

_I wo-… Did he just hang up on me?_

_You get used to it._

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

To: My cousin

From: Your cousin

Sub: What do you think?

Hi, Syaoran. See, I didn't forget.

Anyways, what's the case about? I know you're getting sued for sexual harassment, but that's about all I know.

Mei

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To: Waster of

From: My Time

Sub:-

You volunteer to represent me when you don't even know the case? It's as if getting a lawyer was worse then not having one. All right, listen, because I'm not saying this twice.

I, apparently, 'sexually harassed' the sister of the worker man that was supposed to install the programs to the company's SparkleShell, who didn't even do it correctly, or at all.Understand? I didn't even harass her! All I did was compliment (she should be honored! I don't compliment!) her on her skirt length (I could see her thong) and then 'accidentally' drop my paperwork on the ground so I could bend over and look under it to see the color of the sexy little thing (it was red). I didn't even touch her!

Syaoran

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To: Um…

From: My bad

Sub: Never mind…

What I said about not touching her. My conscious told me- Ok fine, Yamazaki told me to tell you exactly what happened because we're in a church. He's one to talk with all of his lies. Well, everything I said was true, except after I saw her thong, I reached my hands up to her, pulled her down and kissed her, and pulled her on my lap and tried to give her a hickey on her boob. Her fault she wears such low cut stuff. In my defense, my hormones were acting up. I haven't been with a girl in a week!

Not my fault Syaoran

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To: Gross

From: Grossed out

Sub: ...EW!

Li, there are some things that should be kept private. That was one of them! You really don't know why you're being sued, huh. Well, sonny boy, you're lucky I know something about clothing manufactures. You know Shay International? The people that made your SparkleShell? Well, they have a sub clothing division- Sharpay NY that brings in over seventy-five percent of their income. It's their biggest part of the company.They have a huge rivalry with Rendezvous in Luxury. If we can get Rendezvous in Luxury to merge with you guys, they might back off (there's no way even the best lawyers will win you this case, dude) because they know they can't come out on top with Rendezvous in Luxury against them.

Oh and how would you like to know what I did to guys? Then you might know how it felt to read your m-mail! Gross! I'm still shuddering.

From I feel like I want to hurl.

By the way, one week? You're a sad, sad person? Have you no dignity or self restraint?

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To: Maker of

From: A good idea?

Sub: …Wow.

If a company sends you a something bot mail, that means the robots checked it right? Either way, that sounds good (that feels so strange to say…), so I'll meet you in my office on Thursday at 5:00 when I come back.

From I hope Thursday will never come

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_Hi there. You've reached the voice mail of Tomoyo. Leave your name and number, and I'll be sure to call you back! Thanks! BEEP!_

_It's Mei, Tomo. I got Syaoran to agree with my idea to merge with Rendezvous in Luxury. I love that place! Do you think they'll give us free stuff once we merge?_

_Hey Tomoyo. Do you think that- No, no honey. Just wait for a few seconds, okay? - Sorry, I'm babysitting Natasha. Oh, um, do you think that- Tasha, just a few seconds- Do you think that- No, Natasha, give me the phone back!- Hi Toomooyoo, it's Tasha, and I wants you to meets dollies! This is Francolin and this is Michelle, and this is- Oh no! Uncle Eriol, I really gots to- BEEP!_

_Sorry Tomo, I wanted to- No, Natasha, don't pee on my shoes!_

_Okay, I cleaned up the stuff and Natasha's asleep. It's Eriol. Do you think that a person that I really liked would-?_

_Hello?_

_Tomoyo?_

_Yeah, I um just heard the message and picked up. So what about a person that you really liked?_

_Well, you see, I really like her, and I don't think she likes me back…_

_Yes, I do._

_Excuse me?_

_I said I bet they do._

_Oh, did Meiling tell you she liked me?_

_Of course- Wait, Meiling?_

_Yeah, I really like her!_

_Yes, she does. I have to go, bye._

_Wait, Tomo are you okay?_

…

_She hung up?_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Hey, you've reached the voicemail of Chi! Name and number, and I'll try to get back to you. BEEP!_

_Chi, he likes Meiling. I…I… well, actually I just finished crying and I just really need to talk to you. I'm going to call Mei and tell her something, but only after I stop stuttering. Ha. Me stuttering. I was the one that used to help people when they needed something. __Well, thanks, Chi. Call or M-Mail me, please?_

_Hey, do you miss me? It's Yamazaki. By the way, did you know that in Tokyo they suck on their toes to honor their dead? I love you!_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_It's the one and only Meiling! Talk to me. BEEP!_

_Mei? I happen to know the vice-president of Rendezvous in Luxury. It's my friend Sakura. I can beg her to come down here, so you can meet her. She's one of my best friends. I think you'll really like her. Just like how Eriol really likes you. I hope you guys are happy together._

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

To: Crying person

From: Tissue

Sub: What are tissues for?

Hey, I'll be right over, all right? And then you can cry some more. Because sometimes, sometimes, I think crying is the only thing a person can do.

Chi

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_You're talking to Li. I assume you are somewhat important, seeing as you got my number. BEEP!_

_Tomoyo knows the V.P.! This is going to be a snap! _

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_a/n:The Tokyo stuff Yamazaki said isn't true. At least I don't think it is._

_R&R! It'd mean a LOT to me. Much thanks!_


	4. Chapter 4

Satisfaction Not Guaranteed

Carrots and Airplanes

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To: My best friend

From: Your best friend

Sub: Our (well your soon to be) best friend

Hey Saku! I missed you so much. I wanted to murder myself when I couldn't go to your 18th birthday. Actually, I really shouldn't be asking you for this huge favor then… but just hear me out, please? One of my new friends (I think you'll really like her) has this cousin that kind of sued the company Shay International, and he has a few… things he wants to ask you. So, since we haven't seen each other in a while, would you like to come back? We can go shopping and I can dress you up just like childhood times (not that you need me to, Miss. Vice President of the best clothing maker in the world!). While I'm just a photographer at a regular studio. Wow. I feel useless.

From I don't deserve to be in your presence

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Queen

From: Princess

Sub: Your worthiness

Tomo, I'd love to come back. I haven't seen you or Chicharu or anybody in years! I honestly can't wait! I'll be back on Thursday. Can you pick me up at 3:00 at the AAA Airport? Thanks so much!

Sakura, your loyal court jester

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Oh so great cousin of mine

From: Oh so great cousin of yours

Sub: Our oh so great friend of ours

Great news. Tomoyo has asked her friend to come back, and she's arriving at the same airport as you are, just fifteen minutes earlier! Isn't that awesome! So, I guess I'll pick you up so I, as your, lawyer can meet her, too!

Meiling

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Mei

From: Li

Sub: What?

She's arriving at the same airport as us? Okay, but why do you have to pick us up? Isn't having to see you later eventually enough? Oh, and I've been thinking about your plan. It's not making sense right now. Why would they back off? They have a tape! A tape!

-L

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Exasperator

From: Exasperated

Sub: What makes you think that…

Everything has to make sense all the time? Are you the, um, the… King of making sense or something? Yeah, what makes you think you can be the king of making sense when you, oh never mind.

-M

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: What?

From: What?

Sub: What?

Syaoran told me about your idea and I don't think it's going to work. It just has no guaranteed way of winning, and remember, everything here's at stake. They just have too much evidence of the stuff Syaoran did. They would just find it a great opportunity to take down Li Corp. and Rendezvous in Luxury if we merged together. What you're saying just has no sense to it. Sorry Mei. By the way, I brought back a lucky carrot for you. Legend is that if you take a bite of it everyday and keep track of how many bites you take, when you finish, that number will be the number of husbands you have. If you like it, I will gladly sell more to you for a mere amount and you get a 15 percent discount. Tell all of Li's employees will you?

The new founder of Y's Joke Shop!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Hmph

From: Hmph

Sub: Hmph

So are you the Prince of making sense? Huh? Huh? HUH? And no, I will not use my new position to make you money!

-M

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Temperamental

From: Skeptical

Sub: Confusion

Prince (which all used to be toads in the olden days)?

-Y

You drive a hard bargain. How about a twenty percent discount? I'll even throw in a talking potato?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Person that needs help

From: Person that (unfortunately) can't provide the help

Sub: Did you trick Chi into marrying you?

Syaoran's the king.

Mei

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R S-Z

From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

Sub: Round 55

I have heard from a reliable source that a new woman is going to meet up with Li to discuss business matters. The betting of how long it will take for him to screw her and/or do something sexual to her and where will take place immediately. Please take this seriously, seeing that it might be our last Round because our newly found lawyer's plan has somewhat… decayed. Because of that, the prize this time is his desk (yes, ladies, his desk) that he's done many things on, a special tuxedo (he wore it to his mommy's birthday. Awww….), and his old personal M-Net Communication device that he used last month. Enjoy!

Special Acknowledgements to Lee Kim who said that his frolicking with the secretary would take place on the floor and to Soon Jin who said it would take him twelve days. Congratulations and we will celebrate with a round of drinks tonight. The rest of you are all invited- except you all have to pay yourselves.

E. Hiragizawa

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Passengers on Flight 162 from Paris, France have arrived. We hope you enjoyed your flight._

Where is she, Chi? They're ten minutes late!

Calm down, Tomo, they just got there.

What color hair does she have, again?

I told you already Mei, brown, kind of short hair, jade green eyes, and a smile. She always has to have a smile.

You're right about that!

Sakura!

Oh my God! You're here! Come on- group hug!

Hello?

Oh sorry. Sakura this is Meiling. She's the cousin of the guy that wants to ask you stuff.

Nice to meet you!

Same here.

MEILING!

Oh. Um, that sounds like him. I'll go get- AHHH! Syaoran, don't do that!

Meiling. I was waiting here for the whole day! From 2:45 yesterday!

Wait. Your flight wasn't today?

That's Yamazaki's flight.

You look scary.

Good.

And wet and dirty.

Good.

But don't you want to meet Tomoyo's friend.

Right now, not- YOU AGAIN!

You're the guy that knocked into me!

You know him Sakura?

Yes he ran into-

You ran into me! And hit me with your purse!

What did you expect? You looked like a hobo!

STOP!

What, Chi? I'm busy!

Here. Mei, take Li's hand and I'll take Sakura's. Bring it closer- There you go. Now, shake!

Oh, do I get to be Syaoran?

Yeah, and I'll be Sakura!

Hi there. I'm Li Syaoran and it's a great pleasure to meet you.

Hello! I'm Kinomoto Sakura and the pleasure's all mine.

You guys are such nitwits.

Tomoyo, stay out of this!

Mei, let go of my hand! You know, the pleasure really is all yours. It's not everyday you get to meet the most eligible bachelor.

I am really honor- Stop it, Chi! If you're the most eligible bachelor, then I must have fulfilled my lifelong dream of having a family!

Oh, Tomo! She's married?

No, Chi. Just don't say anything.

You know what? You guys take Kinomoto, and I'll handle Syaoran, ok?

Yeah. Bye Mei.

Good luck.

Yeah, cause you'll need it with that monster! Baka!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Hi. You've reached the voicemail of Meiling. If you're Chi, Tomoyo, or anyone else I know, please come and bust us out of jail. My dear and loving cousin has just landed us in jail by kicking the front airplane wheel down the hill, which caused the airplane to stumble and roll down after it. If you're anyone else, please leave your name and number and I'll do my best to call you back! BEEP!_

_I was just wondering where you were. Um, I have to go and tend to Yamazaki's needs, so I'll get Tomoyo to come by and help you later. Maybe. _

_Hey Mei, sounds like you guys had fun at the airport. Can you ask Syaoran if- Never mind. I'll just ask him myself._

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Shoot me now. BEEP!_

_Li, where are you? Meiling was serious about the airplane? And I was just wondering. You know how you're thinking about getting a new desk? Can I have the old one? Thanks man, I owe you one!_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_BigGuy has just signed on._

_GlassesAreSexy: Hey. So can I have your desk?_

_BigGuy: What did I do to be on the net with you? Was I that horrible?_

_GlassesAreSexy: Ha. Oh, how did the jail thing go? I'm not going to ask you how you got in jail because Mei's voicemail told me. It's hilarious! _

_GlassesAreSexy: And you know you're a horrible person, right?_

_BigGuy: One of these days in the next century, I'm going to remember exactly why I'm friends with you._

_BigGuy: That jail was the worst ever. _

_GlassesAreSexy: Why? Is it because you missed your beauty sleep?_

_BigGuy: No. I could have made it another day without that (or a shower), but that girl Kinomoto came down and busted us out. I got help. From her! Oh how I despise her._

_GlassesAreSexy: Despise? Not hate?_

_BigGuy: I would have said hate, but Mei's threatened me to send me to a shrink if I don't stop using some specific words that she picked out._

_GlassesAreSexy: Wow. Must be Hell for you._

_BigGuy: Damn right it is._

_GlassesAreSexy: Is damn on the list?_

_BigGuy: Damn right it is._

_GlassesAreSexy: Ok. Well… can I have your desk?_

_BigGuy: I changed my mind. I decided to keep it. Just because I know that I can sell it later in case I lose all my money when I get sued. Joy. _

_GlassesAreSexy: Oh.Um,I got to go. Important M-Mail I have to send._

_GlassesAreSexy has just signed off._

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

To: All Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R, S-Z

From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

Sub: Important Business Matters

To: All Respected Employees of Li. Corp:

I have found out from the big guy himself that he DOES NOT, I repeat, DOES NOT like this new girl. So, I will allow everyone to either change their bets within the next forty-eight hours or bet that he will not screw and/or do something sexual to her as of right now (12-12-2027).

And, he has decided not to get a new desk. But don't groan yet- I have set my desires to having this desk as the grand prize, so I will go through desperate measures to retrieve it. I will be forming ROLD (Recovery of Li's Desk) now and is waiting for members to join. You all should receive the M-Mail pretty soon, if you don't have it already. Thank you for your support.

E. Hiragizawa

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: All Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R, S-Z

From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

Sub: ROLD

Do you want to win the legendary desk of Li Syaoran?

Do you want to write and lay on the desk that Li Syaoran has been all over?

Do you and will you go through desperate measures to retrieve, steal, or take it by force?

If you answered 'yes' to any of those questions, please print and fill out the form and give it directly to me (without Li finding out AT ALL) during work.

Registration for ROLD

The Recovery of Li's Desk begins!

Reply no later than 12/19/2027

Name:

Gender: M F

Age:

Special Skills:

Can you crack a top-notch, high tech security system? Yes No

Will you risk your life (or job) for this desk? Yes No

Can you keep your mouth shut? Yes No

Are you or have you been a military general? Yes No

If yes, can you devise a strategic and sneaky attack plan? Yes No

How heavy are the objects that your capabilities can lift?

Have you ever been in jail? Yes No

Additional Comments:

Please note that we will keep your responses confidential. Unless we get some benefit from it. Then, expect to see it all over Magik-Net and Magik-Newspapers. You have been warned. Thank you for understanding.

Also, please note that if I find out that you have stretched the truth regarding your abilities, I will not hesitate to fire you myself or do anything that my evil side forces me to do. Good day, ladies and gentlemen.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hope u guys liked it. r&r! thx

rendezvous-in-paris1892


	5. Chapter 5

Satisfaction Not Guaranteed

Quotes and Terms

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: I hate you

From: I hate you

Sub: Um, Let me see… I hate you!

All right, Kinomoto, I can see that I hate you and that you at least despise me. So, since we got that right, I still need to meet with you. I need a plan, because if I don't get one, I'm going to become nothing! And if you could please come by Li Corp. and translate my French documents while I go out on a date with this girl I met in a club, that would be most appreciated.

Li

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_If I had a penny for every crap I gave about you, I would be poor right now. Glad that's not the case. BEEP!_

_Li, I know you're there. Pick up, or else I won't even think about the stuff you need me to-_

_Fine I picked up. Are you there Kinomoto?_

_Of course I am, you idiot. Anyway, good way of bribing me to do your stuff- all that hate really touches a girl._

_Really?_

_I know you're being sarcastic. _

_So you're not as dumb as I thought you were. But, either way, will you think of a plan while you translate my papers._

_You know, I thought about it. I will translate your papers. _

_You will?_

_Yeah. But with you there with me._

_What? I mean Kinomoto; I know you want me, but honestly! Translating papers is not my idea of a romantic date!_

_I surprised your nose hasn't grown to where I live right now because I was expecting it to._

_Kinomoto-_

_Don't bother Li. I'll be over tomorrow night, and we'll translate and devise then. All right? All right. Good day._

_Kinomoto! Kinomoto? You don't hang up- that's what I do!_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

To: Chi, Tomo, Rita, Syaoran

From: Mei

Sub: I found…

This paper on the floor of Syaoran's place! It had the best quote for me ever- I'm going to use it to get Eriol to get the hint that I am so ready for a relationship with him. It's adorable- check it out!

'I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever.'

Beautiful isn't it?

I'm just wondering how I'm going to get it to Eriol, so I don't sound too desperate…

Much Love, Mei

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_If teardrops were wishes, I would be a happy man. Unfortunately, they're not, so I have to see Kinomoto tonight. BEEP!_

_Ha. Very funny, Syaoran. It's Tomoyo. Anyway, I think I left my purse at your place. It's very important to me because it has all my, let's say, personal thoughts. Ok, fine, my quotes, poems, and stuff like that. So could you bring it back to me? You know I'm only telling you this because I know you won't look, right?_

_Right._

_Oh dear God, did you just pick up?_

…

_What's wrong? You're not that upset about seeing Sakura, are you? She's a very nice per-_

_It's not that. Have you checked your mail, lately?_

_Not in a couple of days. Why?_

_I'll bring your purse back._

_Ok, thanks, but- Impatient people who hang up all the time. Argh!_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Li.

Kinomoto.

Let's get to work, shall we? That is if you're done gawking at me.

Don't think you're all attractive just because I stared at you. You're wearing red.

And your point is…

Men are like bulls. We're attracted to red.

So why do you like it, Li?

I'm going to pretend you never said that.

Then let's work on the translating.

Fine!

If you had said that earlier, we wouldn't have had to talk about men and bulls.

What's the fun in that?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R, S-Z

From: E. Hiragizawa Li Corp., V.P.

Sub: Optimists…

You've got a chance. A small chance, but a chance, nonetheless. As of right now, Li and Kinomoto are in his house, in the same room, together. I assume that could lead to interesting things regarding our boss. So, just to spice it up for the night, I've started Round 55.5 (since it shouldn't be considered a full round), where you can bet on how far they get tonight! Winner gets Li's personal scotch tape and autographed (signed, same thing) complaint letter!

E. Hiragizawa

By the way, only twenty-seven members signed up for ROLD out of exactly 1,592? I am not impressed. You've got four days left!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kinomoto, you're in my way!

Well I wouldn't be if you didn't need the translator every five seconds!

It's not my fault we're not all dainty little French puppets like you!

I am offended Li Syaoran!

Yeah? Well don't be!

You know that made no sense at all in this argument.

So what?

Li, I- Never mind. Listen. I'm willing to help you get your company right again if you're willing to at least try and get along with me. Ok?

But- fine.

Good. I'll help you translate this thing then.

Kinomoto?

Yeah?

Your hair smells good.

Are you smelling my hair?

Well, it's kind of hard not to, when you're bent right over me. You should be glad. I tried to refrain from saying something about the part of your body that's very well visible to me right now.

What? Oh dear God!

Wait. Don't get up!

Why? So you can have a full view of my boobs?

No, but your lips smell like peaches, just like your hair, and it's very… intoxicating.

Oh. Um… Mmm.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Meiling

From: Y's Joke Shop

Sub: Something you can't resist!

Meiling, I have made a book of all of my true stories that I've told to you guys and have made five-hundred copies for you and Li Corp! Just for a mere price of three-hundred and fifty dollars! What a deal! What a buy! And if that doesn't amuse you, you can exchange it for a carrot that sprays skunk fumes! Did you know that skunks are very popular in parts of the world? Men would spray it all over themselves before a big outing!

-Y

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Li! You just ran your forehead into my mouth!

Well sorry! When you said something, you dropped the paper so I went to pick it up for you!

Wow, did you do something helpful?

I tried to and this is the thanks I get?

Thank you, Li Syaoran.

You're welcome, Kinomoto. What are you laughing at?

Your adorableness. Here, let me wipe some of that lip gloss off your head for you.

…Thanks.

That took you a while to answer.

I was caught up in the moment.

Oh. Again. Holy cow! Are you smiling?

No!

Yes you are! Turn around you big chicken! You look hot.

We all know that dear, now help me finish these papers!

And here are the thanks I get for saying a compliment to you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Are you ok?

From: I'll be there if you need me

Sub: 'I'll wait for you, but I won't wait forever.'

I know you wrote that, Tomoyo. If you don't want Mei to send it to Eriol, you better do something. Now! She's going to do it really soon!

Chiharu

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Person with no life

From: Person that person with no life bothers

Sub: Why me?

-Yamasaki

No, I don't want your book. No I don't want your farting carrot. And no, um- Wow, I guess there's no more.

-Meiling

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Brilliant

From: Amazed

Sub: Good idea!

Farting carrots? Sounds good- I think I'll try that!

Thanks, Y.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took you two hours to finish that page?

Well how much did you finish, Miss I'm so brilliant?

The rest of them!

…

Anyway, since your lawyer hasn't come up with anything, I decided to arrange a meeting for us and Shay International at a court house tomorrow.

You want them to sue me tomorrow?

No! But we're just going to talk terms. If they'll let you guys off if we do something for them. It's being recorded, so they can't twist our words or anything around. So, there's my plan. Do you need anything else?

Wait, are you officially merged with us right now?

Not officially, because we never signed any papers. But we will if necessary.

Why?

Because, um, because-

You're turning beet red.

…

Tomato red, now, actually.

It's… because your Tomoyo's friend, and I want to help her out! Don't you dare raise your eyebrow at me!

…

You're smiling again.

So I am.

It's really kind of cute.

So I've heard.

You should really look at yourself.

So I've seen.

Hmph. I'm just going to go now. I'll see you at 10 am sharp at the Central Court House.

Wait-

What- mmm.

…

Do you always kiss girls on the corner of their mouth?

No, but-

But what?

Nothing.

Fine. Just when I thought we were getting somewhere. Bye. Hmph. Boys!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Hiragizawa

From: Li

Sub: 'terms'

Hiragizawa

So, you know that Kinomoto and I went to talk 'terms' at the Court House right? Well, Shay International wants us to make them one hundred billion dollars by next June if we don't want to be sued. We've only got six months! The only reason that I agreed was because they could rip and tear and sell our company to anyone. I hate my life.

Li

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Li

From: Hiragizawa

Sub: Wow…

Li

Not one word of hate to Kinomoto. What happened?

One hundred billion? We can make it, no sweat. We'll just have to get extra jobs…A lot of extra jobs...

Hiragizawa

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R, S-Z

From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

Sub: Good news!

I have recently hacked into Li's security system (ok, he gave me the password) and stole this tape. It has mostly bickering, some intense moments (our Li can be a sweetie sometimes) and a good night kiss on the corner of her mouth! Now, no one guessed that, but we will give the scotch tape to Jun San for guessing it on the cheek and a separate complaint letter (he has many) to Kim Rioko and Sun Lao for guessing it on the lips. Congrats!

Hiragizawa

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Li

From: Meiling

Sub: Good News!

Hey, I heard about your billion dollar thing, and decided that instead of being you full time lawyer, I can be your part time lawyer and part time advice columnist because of the quote I sent in. Check out the Magik Newspapers I had sent to you!

Meiling

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Li Meiling, wealthy cousin of Li Syaoran is our brilliant, and deep advice columnist! She will feature her very own quote of the week, gossip of the week, and, of course, weekly advice. If you have any questions, write her to the address below, and we'll feature it in next week's paper! _

_Meiling's Quote of the Week: 'I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever.'_

_-Kim Rika, head journalist_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

To: Li

From: Kinomoto

Sub: I might regret this

Li

I need a ride and an escort to the mall. I don't know where it is, and people here are rough! And you're the only person I trust (besides Tomoyo, but she looks kind of upset right now…) to protect me. Please, I need to get Christmas presents. Thanks if you do, and thanks anyway if you don't.

Kinomoto

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: S&S are finally getting somewhere. Kinda. A little. Anyway, I had lotz of fun writing that part about them. As you can see, i didn't make Syaoran as much of a cold-hearted person, but more of the arguing and love to hate kind of guy (for sakura andyway). Besides, it wouldn't fit with in the humor category if it was, and i can't see this type of writing being Too serious... Ohhh and they might go xmas shopping next. what should i have them get into...lol.

R&R! thx!

xoxo

rendezvousinparis1892


	6. Chapter 6

Satisfaction Not Guaranteed

Salads and Presents

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: i checked my stats thing and i got over 600 hits! I heart you guys! lol. Well, think of this as you MLKjr day present, for being so awesome!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Hi. You've reached Kinomoto Sakura. If you leave your name and number, I'll do my best to call you back. BEEP!_

_Wow, Kinomoto, your voicemail is so… blah, to be blunt. Honestly, I was expecting a string of French gibberish to enlighten me! Well, before this disappointment, I was going to tell you that I wouldn't mind taking you to the mall, I guess this Saturday at 6:00? I'm busy in the morning. _

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Magik M.E.M.O

Hey Li. I heard about your future date with Kinomoto. Were you drunk? Are you okay? Or does little Li have a crush. You have a crush. You have a crush on Kinomoto… This stuff is great blackmail, dude.

Hiragizawa

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

A crush and an attraction are completely different things you know. I'm just… slightly attracted to her. She's hot.

Li

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

Dude- You just admitted you LIKE her? From one night? I think I might just have a heart attack! That's when your heart stops moving, right?

Hiragizawa

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

I don't like her that much. I'm still going out with Whitney. You know that one blond that I met in that club? No, Hiragizawa, you're not the blond.

Li

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry!

Not a problem Miss. Li. I will reprogram myself in one minute.

Of course it's a problem! Li's going to know I crashed into you, his favorite Magik M.E.M.O delivery robot- With all his M.E.M.O s about Kinomoto? He thinks she hot and he's attracted to her! Oh my God. Yay! They would look good together…

Okay, Miss Li. I have successfully reprogrammed myself and am ready to go to Mr. Hiragizawa to delivery this message.

Oh no, you're not. Eriol will just ruin this. Give it to me, I'll respond to it.

I am sorry Miss. Li. I had specific orders to delivery this to Mr. Hiragizawa. Excuse me please.

Well, I'm sorry too, because I'm going to have to stick my finger up your nose for a second.

Excuse me- …

I love all the stuff Li programs a reset button into. Even thought it was up his nose. That sounded disgusting. Oh well, let's see what we've got… and what we can do...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

Li! I don't think at all, dude that you should go out with that swank. You should like totally, ask Kinomoto to go out with you, dude. She's way more worth it and committed to you.

Hiragizawa

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

Since when do you say 'dude' and 'like' so much. You're high right now, aren't you. Well, from my accounts, I shouldn't listen to you when you're in this state, so I will go out with Whitney on Friday, and I'm not going to dump her. Since you're high right now, I'll tell you that Whitney makes me feel superior, but Kinomoto makes me feel… strange. Anyway, go get something for yourself. You can't make me money if you can't even think. One more thing. Committed?

Li

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mei's Corner- Dec. 15, 2027, Vol. 1

Hey everybody. Li Meiling here. This week, I have your questions, gossip, and quote, so here we go!

QUESTIONS

Dear Mei,

What would you do if your boss thought you were high for some reason, and now thinks that you need help constantly and is driving me insane. Ok, fine, it's only been a couple of hours, but I am completely worried. What do I do? What if it lasts for the rest of my life?

From,

Scared for my sanity

Dear Mei,

I have this friend that got a job working for my other friend, but the first friend won't sell stuff to the other friend's company, and I don't know why? My farting carrots are delectable.

From,

My carrots are sad

----------------------

Dear Scared for my sanity,

Tell your boss how you feel, and if that doesn't work, um, sorry. Think of what the problem might be- you might have said something strange to him (like I love you), sleepwalked to his house in the middle of the night and went potty on his head, or your friend could have intercepted the Magik M.E.M.O robot you guys used while chatting and wrote something strange to him because he or she thought you would mess it up. Either one of those are perfectly logical reasons.

Mei

Dear Farting carrot cough Yamasaki cough,

I, I mean the friend probably thinks you're idiotic idiot, and that's why the friend won't buy it from you, Yamasaki!

Mei

-----------------------

GOSSIP OF THE WEEK

(Please note that these could possibly be made up for my own twisted amusement. Or, they could be true. Enjoy!)

Oh No! Hollywood breakups must be in style this season! So go find a decent man, marry him, and then divorce him!

Thad Chichael Surry and Thopia Sush have gone a couple of decent months before breaking it up.

Thenifer Faniston and Rhad Ditt have also broken it up, unfortunately, seeing as they were the couple that everyone thought would last…

Kissica Bimpson and Kick Macay (the kinky blonde and the sex addict) are also gone. Bimpson is suing for her money right now.

So, what you waitin for? Go and get yourself a man!

---------------------

Quote of the week: I just met you. And yet, I know all I need to know about you to know you are the one I want.

----------------------

Thanks for reading. Same time, same place next time!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Rat

From: Rodent Exterminating Service

Sub: I can smell you… (In the least gross way possible)

Tomoyo, I know that that was your quote. You showed it to me after you met Eriol. What did you do?

Chi

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Good Nose

From: Bad hider

Sub: Nice…

Yeah, that was me. Well, you see, I stopped by her loft yesterday, and found her sleeping on her desk with some horrible quotes. So, I just put that one in and submitted it under her name. She just looked so helpless, poor thing.

Tomo

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Where is she, Chi? I thought you said she was home?

I guess she's not.

What are we going to do with the wine?

We could have the 'celebrate Meiling's Mei's Corner' without Meiling?

Why do you want to get drunk so bad?

Personal reasons.

…

Ring…Ring…

Should I pick that up, Tomo?

Just let the answering machine get it.

_Hey, Mei here. Name and number, and I'll call you back! BEEP!_

_Hi, Meiling, I read your news week thing, and thought it was pretty great. Especially that quote. It was so beautiful and romantic, and inspiring. It's inspired me to ask you this. Will you go out with me? Oh, um it's Eriol, just in case you didn't know it was me._

Tomo- Where'd she go? Tomoyo!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Are you okay, Miss?

Yes, just get me a table for one please.

All right. And what would you like?

Just the garden salad and water.

It will be ready shortly.

Ring…Ring

Hello?

_Tomoyo? _

Yeah?_  
_

_Where are you? Are you okay?_

Yes, I'm fine. I just need to be alone right now I guess.

_Are you sure?_

Yeah.

_Just call me if you need me, okay?_

Yeah, bye.

_Bye._

_-------------_

Your salad, Miss.

Thank you.

-------------

Sir, come back!

Yes, Miss?

Your salad… it's horrible!

Excuse me?

It just doesn't taste right.

You think you could do better than us?

I think I can!

Oh thank goodness! We need a new chef so badly!

Hey!

Sorry Romona!

Are you raising your eyebrows at me? Fine. Let's see what you've got.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Chi

From: Tomo

Sub: You're a real pal

Hey, thanks for just being there, I guess. I know, that line is so overused. But, thanks anyway. So, guess what? I was at this restaurant that served really bad salads, and I told them I could do better, and they let me, so now, I'm their new head chef! I'm going to give the money I make to Li, of course. I'm so glad I found something to do to help.

And then Eriol came in, and we talked. I think I can become really good, plain old friends with him. I know I'm going to try.

Tomo

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kinomoto.

Li.

Shall we go?

Yes we shall.

What? No argument about bulls today?

Don't smirk at me. I'm just saving my breath for something more important.

What was your life like as a kid?

Where did that come from?

Nowhere. I was just wondering.

It had to come from somewhere then.

Ugh! Never mind. ForgetI asked!

Honestly, I had everything. I'm not bragging or anything. Or, I at least had every material possession I could ever want. My dad, I didn't know because he just left us one day, and my mom just doesn't love me.

I guess you're kind of like me then.

Excuse me?

My dad and mom died when I was really young. I think I'm pretty lucky though. I got to know them the first six years of my life and they loved me so much. We were really poor though. So, on my fifth birthday, when my parents saved enough money, they brought me to the toy store to get a teddy bear, because that was the thing I really wanted. And they got it for me. But then, on my sixth birthday, they took me to this horse pasture to ride, because he loved to ride. But the horses that they were riding on took a slide down the ridge, and they were so injured, they died.

Are you okay?

Yeah. No offense or anything, but I don't know why I told you that.

…

Hey, cheer up! It's only a couple more days until Christmas! You're supposed to be happy! Come on, let's go window shopping!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R, S-Z

From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

Sub: I am not high!

That and, Li and Kinomoto are out Christmas shopping. We will not have a bet, but this will probably make Round 55 a huge success! Also, regarding ROLD, I am still a tad disappointed. 155 members? You have three days.

Hiragizawa

Once again, any rumors you have heard about me getting high off of the Sharpie maker,I would like to tell you all lovely people that I didn't.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No, you shopping freak! We will not buy that!

Come on Kinomoto! Just one.

What would you use dancing penguins for? Be reasonable. You need the money for June!

God. Women are so strange.

Good you realize that Li. They first step to solving a problem is to admit you have a problem.

…

…

Hey! Don't laugh at me! I'm gonna get you!

No you wouldn't… AHHH! You evil person that pushes people in the snow

So what are you- AHHH! You did not just pull me down with you!

So is that why you're on top of me?

Wow. That sounds dirty. I like it Kinomoto.

Well, you better forget about it because you know very well I didn't mean it that way.

Kinomoto,I never knew you cared so much. You want me to never forget it becauseI should knowvery well that you meant it every way possible?

Freak.

Wait, don't move- Ouch. See Kinomoto? I'm not the only one that bumps foreheads. You do too. You have a really pretty smile. And blush.

…Thanks.

Come on, I'll help you up.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Sakura

From: Savanna

Sub: Where are you?

Weren't you supposed to be back at work yesterday? Everyone expected you back, and when they couldn't find you, they kept on coming to me! Where are you? They're driving me crazy!

Savanna

By the way, how does Li look? I heard he's FINE!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aren't you going to buy anything for yourself? What about that necklace you wanted?

Nope. I only brought enough for my presents.

Oh.

Li?

Yeah?

Can I ask you something?

What?

I was wondering if you'd-

Yes?

Will you show me where the restroom is?

Yes, I'd love to- show you where the restroom is. Just go down that street and make a left. There's a pretty big sign down there, I think.

Thanks!

------------------------------------

Miss?

Yes, sir?

Can I buy the thing in the display window?

------------------------------------

Sir?

Yes, Miss?

Can! buy that thing in the display window?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: I was going to make the X-mas shopping thing a lot more of a big deal, but since they still basically just met, I couldn't get to intimate. Unfortunately.

Special thanks to insomniaaa, BabyPenguin, KitKat200725, and dbzgtfan2004 who have been the most awesomest reviewers ever!If you could review, that would be great. I really want to know if you like/hate this story and what i can do to make it better for ya.

xoxo

rendezvousinparis1892


	7. Chapter 7

Satisfaction Not Guaranteed

Love and Poker

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Sakura

From: Tomoyo

Sub: So…

How was your shopping trip ahem date ahem with Li? I heard he was a real gentleman. You know, you two would look super duper kawaii together, right? Sexy and sweet, the match made from Heaven. Oh, you know what? You should go check out his blog on Magik Net. Eriol bet him if he could do it for a month. It's quite amusing actually. Li Syaoran writing his feelings on the Net for the world to see. He doesn't even know that Eriol told everyone about it. He thinks nobody knows! Oh God, it's like eating a second helping of cake. Ok, it's not like that. It'll belike watching an episode of Buddies. Yep, that's it. Hilarious.

Tomoyo

Oh, and sorry about not taking you on that shopping trip. I sprained my ankle.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Pinocchio

From: Blue Fairy

Sub: Liar, liar, pants on fire

You told me you had a cold! Not a sprained ankle. Nice try, Tomoyo, but I won't be too mad at you since you were preoccupied with some other things. Magik Net Blog? You're right- Hilarious. I will go look at that. And you do know that he has this totally hot blond girlfriend, right? He's just, I don't know, giving me super friendly conversation? Anyway, it's not like I like him that much. Or at all. I think. He's just my friend. My friend. My friend that's a guy. My guy friend. Got it?

Either way, I won't be able to spend Christmas with you guys. I have to go back to Paris the day after tomorrow. I'm so sorry, but it turns out I was only supposed to stay a day or so. I'll be back for New Year's though! Maybe.

Sakura

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: All Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R, S-Z

From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

Sub: Hook, Line, and Sinker!

Our Li has taken the bait to Round 189 of Stupid things that Li's willing or tricked to do. He agreed to actually write a blog on the Net. Our Li! The locked up safe! The glued on zipper! The, well, I can't think of anything, but he took it! Now, I bet him to last a month, but for goodness sake, people, this is Li! Well, regardless of my advice, start betting! I will find a prize and post it next m-mail. Until then, good-bye. Unless you see me. Then, hello! Right?

E. Hiragizawa

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Yamazaki, Li, Tsukishiro

From: Hiragizawa

Sub: S'up?

Ya like me gangsta 'tude? Do ya? Well, that's too bad, because I'm not a gangsta. But I could be. I fooled you guys didn't I, especially this morning?

I was just thinking about a night of poker for just us four sexy guys tonight at my place. What do you say? I want to make it up to you guys for bringing my mom last time.

Hiragizawa

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: H.

From: L.

Sub: Poker

Sounds good to me, but I'm still confused on how you thought you had to bring your mom. You know what? Don't tell me through m-mail. Someone might intercept it, so I'd then be forced to move out of the country because of your high, perverted mind.

L.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Hiragizawa here. I probably am busy, or more likely just don't feel like working my muscles to pick up the phone. So leave me a message, and I promise I'll call you back. Eventually. And, yes, I don't know what a heart attack is. I've never had one, so how should I know? BEEP! _

_Hey, it's Yamasaki. I don't know if you should be trusted with my kid any more than Li should be… Anyway, poker tonight sounds good. I'll bring some food or something. Remember, no moms. And because you're the host, I'll tell you- Don't eat the carrots! _

_Weren't you thinking of becoming a doctor in high school? I never knew the world was so lucky. I'll be there tonight. And too bad about your gangster thing. We could have been great gangsters. E-dude and J-man. I can see it now. _

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

To: Syaoran and Sakura sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G!

From: Can I be cupid?

Sub: You are so in…

DENIAL! It's so obvious you have feelings for him, and he probably likes you too! That swanky swank is probably just a little phase he's going thought. Besides, I'm sure you guys will fall in love just like a fairy tale. Especially since you share an office with him, starting tomorrow! And continuing after New Year!

Aw, darn. Paris? Well, we need to talk. No, I'm not breaking up with you. Ha ha. I crack myself up. Ok, you're probably not laughing, Sakura. … Well, I was thinking that tonight, you, Mei, Chi, and Rika come over here to my place, and we can just hang out! You know, just be girls. So can you do it? Everyone else probably can. So you better. Or we'll all be disappointed. I'm puppy-dog pouting now.

Tomoyo

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Ugh!

From: Ugh!

Sub: Stupid pout

Your dog face got to me. Count me in.

Sakura

Sorry, Kero, my puppy just splashed his water all over my phone, so I've been trying to fix it all day. Not working.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Li's Blog

Mood: Annoyed

11:00 pm

I feel angry, annoyed, cranky, and sexy. Happy, Hiragizawa?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hiragizawa, where are the cards?

Hold on! I'm looking for them!

How can you invite all of us to a poker night, without cards?

Dude, be happy. At least he didn't invite his mom.

Ha. God, guys, calm down. I have the cards.

And I have the beer!

Hiragizawa, aren't you suppose to be cutting back?

Why would I? I'm not fat. Am I?

…

Holy crap, Hiragizawa.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh my God! That is so cute, Sakura. Isn't it, Mei!

It is. So, what do you think about Syaoran?

How'd we get from talking about animals to Syaoran?

Chi, baby, we were never talking about animals. Besides, even if we were, he is a sex animal.

Tell me about it.

I know.

No, really tell me about it!

Tomoyo!

Sorry.

Anyway, what'd you think Sakura? Is he your dream guy or what?

I don't think so. And if you guys are trying to set us up, you're not doing a very good job of it, telling me he's a sex animal.

But he's a good sex animal!

Mei, how would you know?

Well…

Eww! You didn't-

Just joking Tomo! Don't worry. The girls at work are always there telling me when I stop by.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No way!

Yamizaki won, again?

I thought you sucked!

Now, now gentlemen, is that a polite way to act at our friendly game of poker?

Sorry.

Yeah, sorry.

…Ow! Fine, sorry.

It's all right. … I win! I win! I win! You lose, you lose. And you lose!

Now, let's see. Since I won, again, you guys have to answer my question.

Hiragizawa, how could you make this into a truth or dare/ poker game? I feel like murdering you for this.

I would be scared if you didn't say that to me on a day to day basis.

Best sex ever.

What?

That's my question. Best sex ever. Who would be or was your best sex ever? Hiragizawa, you first.

Me? Fine.

I wouldn't be surprised if he said his mom.

I know.

I can hear you!

We know.

…

Oh. Well, for me it wouldn't be my mom, because I would never have sex with her- duh! It would be Taylor Daniels.

A guy?

Who knew he played for the other team?

Well, it was kind of obvious. I mean Glasses are Sexy for his screen name?

A girl, stupid. Taylor is a unisex name. And I don't play sports, remember?

Okay… Tsukishiro, you're up.

Sopra Hinfrey.

Her?

Yeah, her! That babe's got it going on!

What do you want from her?

What's up with the suspicion Li?

…

Ok, she's as rich as Hell.

Nice.

Li? How bout you?

Which bitch is he going to choose from? He's got over 500…

Very funny, Hiragizawa.

Before, you answer, I say more beer!

You got it, dude.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sakura! One martini and you're already tipsy!

I tolddd yyyou! Bbbars andd meee nooo mixxxyyy!

Damn! She's got it bad!

Tomoyo, take her home, would you. I still have to drop by Eriol's tonight, and Chi has to pick up Yamizaki.

What are you doing at Eriol's Mei?

Shheee getttinnng some looovvvinggg toooniight. Whooooooo Hoooooooo!

No, I need to pick something up. But I wish!

So do I.

What was that, Tomo?

I said I sure do need to go. For Sakura, of course.

See you, then.

Byyyyyye guuuuyss. I haaadd looottts ooof fuuun! Leeett'sss dddooo theeee tanggooo! Andddd goooo bathheroomm. Causssee I gottaaa gooo reaaaaaaalllllly realllly baddd.

You hear that? She has to go really bad.

Good luck with that Tomo!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You guys are all completely drunk!

And smelly!

Hey Meiling! Hey Chiharu. I love you Chiharu. You smell like alcohol. That's so hot. Make love to me.

Eww, no! Go away. Well actually come here. I need to take you home. And Tsukishiro, too.

I'll take Li home then, Chi.

Wait!

What is it Eriol. You already got these guys drunk.

Aren't you supposed to be cutting back?

But I'm not fat! Or high! And Li never told us his best sex!

Oh yeah!

Who is it?

Isn't it obvious? She's so hot and sexy and wonderful and I want to taste her all over. And let bunnies jump over us while we're doing…it.

What's with the whispering of it?

Don't worry about it Chi. Li gets drunk really fast too. But how much bottles did he drink.

Four. Maybe five?

Ouch. He's going to have a horrible hangover in the morning.

Sakura Kinomoto.

What?

She's the best sex I want to have! I bet her tongue is soft and her boobs are juicy and her lips are cotton candy.

Li!

He admitted it!

I told you he liked her.

Get out!

What? What's wrong Eriol? And I need my package!

Here, Mei, and I'll see you on Saturday for our date right?

Yeah-

Bye! Get out, get out, and get out! Finally!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: All Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R, S-Z

From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

Sub: Important!

Li likes Kinomoto! He wants hot, steamy nights with her, and wants to taste her candied body, apparently. Okay, he said this while he was drunk, but who cares? Out hopes are going up, baby! Oh, speaking of which, I forget to tell you employees this earlier- Regarding Mr. Li, you will have to work harder so we can reach our goal next June or else he will not be happy. He didn't actually say he will not be happy. He said more inappropriate words that I feel that you should not have to listen to.

Hiragizawa

Oh, and Mr. Chow? Who is your fitness trainer? He's done wonders for you! Apparently, I need to lose some weight

Very impressed with the R.O.L.D turnout, by the way. First meeting is December 28th!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Li's Blog

Mood: Not happy

11:00 am.

Wassup lame people who read blogs because they don't have a life. Hiragizawa said my last entry was too simple and that it wasn't amusing at all. What am I supposed to do here, anyway? Talk about feelings? Oh crap. Well, let's make a list of them, shall we?

Annoyed (from hangover).

Annoyed some more. And confused. (from fifty m-mails in computer mailbox saying Woo Hoo! and sexy choice, and stuff like that).

Angry (from hangover and Whitney saying Kinomoto looked bad in skirt. Kinomoto looked good in skirt. Real good)

Amused (Kinomoto slapped Whitney. I pretend not to notice.)

Intrigued (Kinomoto smiled at me?)

Intrigued some more (I smiled back?).

Butterflied (from smile?).

I don't like this blog. It makes me feel weird.

Hmm…

I should have thought of some A words for Intrigued and Butterflied. Then they would all start with A.

I feel drunk.

And happy. Kinomoto beat Whitney in a cat fight. A hot cat fight.

I feel turned on. Very turned on.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Mei, Chi

From: Tomo

Sub: OMG

Did you read Li's blog? You have to read his blog! OMG! OMG! OMG!

Tomo

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Tomo

From: Sakura

Sub: ( :

Sorry I peed on your back seat yesterday. My bad. Anyway, I'm leaving for Paris at 9:00 tonight. I just wanted to tell you not to come see me, because I hate long good byes, and I'll be back around February next year, so Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in advance! I left your presents under your tree, Tomo, and everybody else's. I love you a lot, in the non gayest way.

Sakura

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: SO SO SO sorry for taking so long. whoops. SO to make it up to ya, i'll try to get the next chapter out ASAP. Oh, and sorry if the dialogue is a bit (or a lot) confusing. But it's not too big of a deal cause if i wanted someone to talk and answer specifically i would have put their name in it.

xoxo

rendezvous-in-paris1892


	8. Chapter 8

Satisfaction Not Guaranteed

Plane Wings and Soaked Hair

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_BigGuy: Mei, I have a question._

_RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Shoot. Wait- Aren't you in your office right now?_

_BigGuy: Yes…_

_RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Then why don't you just come down to my office since I'm in the same building as you are?_

_BigGuy: If I wanted to get up to talk to you, I would be in your office right now. _

_RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Ok?_

_BigGuy: Am I in your office?_

_RedBeautyisRealBeauty: No…_

_BigGuy: So that means I don't want to bother getting up._

_RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Wow. You got all worked up for that._

_BigGuy: Shut up._

_RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Didn't you want to ask me something?_

_BigGuy: Oh yeah. Where's Kinomoto? She's supposed to be working here today._

_RedBeautyisRealBeauty: You didn't hear? She had to go to back to Paris early because she was wanted there or something._

_BigGuy: What? So she's at the airport right now?_

_RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Yeah, but Syaoran, it's not a big deal- She'll be back around New Year._

_BigGuy: Yes it is a big deal! Which airport?_

_RedBeautyisRealBeauty: The same one as last time. But why?_

_BigGuy: No reason. And tell Yamizaki I can't baby-sit for him this week-end okay?_

_RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Okay, but-_

_BigGuy has just signed off._

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Magik M.E.M.O.

Eriol-

What's up with Li?

Meiling

P.S. You look absolutely yummy today.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O.

Mei-

I don't know- I was going to ask you! The front desk secretary just ran up to tell me that he ran out the door like a lunatic.

Eriol

P.S. You look absolutely delectable today, too. But your column yesterday was even yummier! Your quote was absolutely beautiful.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O.

Eriol-

Why did the front desk lady run up to find YOU? Couldn't she have M-Mailed you? HUH? And I know you think her ass is hot.

Meiling

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O.

Mei-

Li gave her his key to give to me. And I would tell you that her ass isn't hot, but then I would be lying. And I want our relationship to be a completely honest one. So I think her ass is hot. Sorry.

Eriol

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O.

Hiragizawa-

You are so lucky YOU are hot. And thank you for the complement.

Li

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O.

Mei-

You know I said the secretary's ass was hot right?

Eriol

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O.

Hiragizawa-

I meant the complement for my column. But thanks for bringing the hot-ass thing up again!

Li

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O.

Mei-

I am very sorry. So are we still on for tonight?

Eriol

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O.

Hiragizawa-

Four hours of watching you grovel for my forgiveness- I wouldn't miss it for the world. Oh, and you better be on time. Or else.

Li

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Get out of my way!

Sir, you just knocked my coffee on me, you bas-

Sorry! I promise I'll buy you a new one, if I ever see you again!

Hi! Welcome to AAA Airport. How can I help you?

Has any flight for Paris left yet?

Actually, one is leaving in five minutes.

Great. Where is it?

It is located on the West Wing of this airport, sir.

But that's on the other side of the airport!

I would hope so, sir, seeing that you are on the East Wing.

…

So, how can I- Where'd he go?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Roy's Food Service

To: Miss. Tomoyo

Sub: Special offer!

Okay, Tomoyo, this isn't really Roy's food service. It's Yamizaki. I didn't think you'd open this M-Mail if you knew that. But anyway, I have a special offer on farting carrots for your restaurant. Or spitting peas. And squatting tomatoes. Call me if you're interested!

Yamizaki

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sir! I can't let you on board! The plane has just started to take off!

No it hasn't, it's still on the ground!

Sir, that's part of the take up process!

Ugh! Move!

Sir, come back!

Sakura! Sakura! I need to give something to you! I'm cominggggggg!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Breaking News! We do not have any videos or photos, but we at ABC Network know that Li Syaoran, owner and C.E.O. of Li Corp has jumped on the wing of a plane that is taking off to Paris, yelling Saruka! Saruka! What has gotten into this fine C.E.O.? This has been a special ABC Network breaking news segment with Sally Henderson.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bang, bang, bang. Sakura! Open up!

Li! Are you on the plane ?

Yes! Let me in! I'm on the wing in front of you!

I can't! This window's too small!

Are you calling me fat?

I wouldn't worry about your weight right now when you could fall off the plane! Hold on! Lady! Lady! Open the door thingy please! My friend is on the outside on the plane!

Miss, I can't. It would be too- Don't do that!

Li! Come in!

Sakura.

Oh my goodness, thank goodness you're safe!

Don't cry, babe. Don't cry.

Awwwwwwwww.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Breaking News! Li has made it safely on the plane, thanks to a mysterious Saruka. Oh excuse me! It's Sakura. Kinomoto? Oh my God, she's the vice president of Rendezvous in Luxury! Do you think she'll get me a- Oh sorry, back to the story. Miss. Kinomoto opened the door of the airplane for him to let him in, only to be followed by her falling in his arms and crying. Which was followed by a huge Aww. Of Course. This has been a Breaking News Segment with Sally Henderson.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, you almost got run over by a taxi, attacked by an old woman, and jumped on a plane to give me my present on time?

Yes. Wow.

That was so sweet. Thank you! But I feel so bad- you almost died!

Hey, babe, no one named Syaoran Li would get killed from a plane. … You look gorgeous.

Why are you being so sweet to me?

I figured if I was crazy enough to jump on a plane to give you a Christmas present, I might as well tell and show you how I-

Would you like any water?

Oh no thanks Miss. Um, Li, I'm going to sleep, okay? Wake me up when we're almost there?

Oh, yeah of course. You can lean on my shoulder.

…Thanks.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Li

From: Eriol

Sub: Where the Hell are you?

Okay, that was a stupid question, since I know you're going to Paris because of that breaking news thing. But are you okay? What's up with you, man?

Eriol

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Hiragizawa

From: Li

Sub: -

I was on the News because of this? Anyway, to more important matters. I want her so bad! She's sleeping on my shoulder and all I can think about is making out with her right now. I mean, she's so hot! And smart, seeing that she can actually talk to me and make me feel fired up. Oh my crap. What's wrong with me? Did I just write that?

Li

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Li

From: Hiragizawa

Sub: Wow.

Dude, you got it bad. This is a first. Just ask her out!

There's nothing wrong with you. Everyone gets bitten by the love bug once in a while.

Hiragizawa

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Hiragizawa

From: Li

Sub: -

I think I will. Actually, I think I have to. God, I am so hard right now. Oh well. I do get hard by just looking at her.

Li

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Li

From: Hiragizawa

Sub: Nice to know!

Again, that was nice to know. Ask her out, okay? Save us both the pain. Oh, and I'm loving the blog. Very well improved.

Hiragizawa

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sakura, wake up. We're almost there.

Oh, okay. Thanks. You're a really good pillow, you know that?

I didn't, but thanks. Um, I need to use the restroom, okay? So, um I'll be gone for a couple of minutes. Because I need to use the restroom.

So, I'll just wait here for a couple of minutes while you're in the restroom.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello?

Tomoyo?

Sakura? Oh my God, is Li okay?

Yeah he's fine, but I need to talk to you!

Ok?

I woke up while I was sleeping and saw the stuff that Li was M-Mailing to Eriol. He really likes me! And wants me, too, apparently.

Wasn't that a tad obvious?

No!

…

What do you expect? I'm a dense person, sometimes. Anyway, he wants to ask me out!

What are you going to say? Yes right? I know you really like him, too.

Of course!

Really?

No!

What? Why? You're going to break what little of a heart he has!

Because Tomoyo, he's just not my type of guy. He's not sensitive or kind! Do you hear his phone messages? And, he's such a player! All he wants is sex! Plus, he's arrogant and stuck up!

He's smart?

Yes, he's very intellectual, but he's not modest about it.

He's really nice to you. He's actually none of those bad things you said about him to you.

Tomo, I want my boyfriend to be good to everyone, not just me. It shows he has no respect for anyone else!

Oh.

Sorry I yelled, it's just, I know I'm giving up someone pretty amazing. I mean he's really smart, and I can have a really good conversation with him, and talk to him, and not to mention he's really hot.

Then give him a chance.

I don't want to waste my time with a player, Tomoyo. Listen I have to go. I'll talk to you later. Bye.

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Bye.

To: Mei

From: Tomo

Sub: So…x2

How was your date? Did he grovel all you want?

Guess what? Syaoran wants to ask Sakura out, but she doesn't want to go out with him. Says he's not her type of guy. Can you believe that?

Tomo

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To: Yamizaki  
From: Tomoyo

Sub: Desperate…

Is what you are. No I don't want your pooping carrots and wailing cabbages or talking tomatoes. Got it?

Tomo

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To: Tomo

From: Mei

Sub: (

I don't think I've ever had a worse date! All Eriol wanted to talk about was literature and stuff. And his usual blond moments that are always so adorable couldn't even stop me from falling asleep. And if that wasn't bad enough, I was so bored that when I said I needed to go to the bathroom to get away from him, I ran into the waiter, so he spilled iced tea all over my head. He didn't even grovel at all!

And about Syaoran and Sakura, I've got a plan. M-mail Chiharu to meet me and you at the LogiTech Café (don't ask, they make the greatest coffee) tomorrow at 9:00 am, okay?

Mei

Oh, and is 9:00 at the LogiTech Café okay with you? Sorry, forgot to ask. If you were at my place, you would see a very sheepish grin right now.

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To: Miss. Tomoyo

From: Ron's Food Service

Sub: Special Offer!

Miss. Tomoyo of Soup, Salad, and Breadsticks, we at Ron's Food Service would like to offer you a special discount on all poultry products. You can save up to fifty percent on each slab of meat! This is an offer you can't refuse, so we hope you won't. It will be a pleasure doing business with you, Miss. Tomoyo.

Ron's Food Service

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To: 'Ron's Food Service'

From: Angry

Sub: I can't believe you

Yamizaki-

Don't worry- I didn't even bother to open your M-Mail. How dumb do you think I am, to fall for the same trick twice? You are just so dumb sometimes.

Tomoyo

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So…

So…

This is my apartment.

The Vice-President of one of the most major clothing companies in Paris lives in an apartment. Not that you have to have a problem to live in an apartment. You're perfectly fine, don't worry. Just so you-

Li, stop. It's okay! I just didn't want to live in a million dollar mansion just because I had a decent job. I'm perfectly happy like this.

You're very modest.

Thank you.

So…

So…

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Li's Blog

Mood: Angry

6:00 pm

Holy crap, I am so depressed. I would have put that in my mood space, but angry just sounds more masculine and hot. I know it reminds me of a hot, sweaty guy when I read it. NOT THAT I AM ATTRACTED TO THEM. Just to make that clear.

Anyway, to the, what, one or two people that read this (don't you guys have lives?) the reason that I am 'angry' (I really mean depressed) is because the girl that I want insanely bad, thinks that I am not the guy for her! Beautiful, handsome, hot, and sexy me! What woman in their right mind would refuse me? She probably doesn't even think we're friends because she still calls me by my last name. I try to be nice and sweet to her, and this is what I get. Okay, yes you could call me angry. But not as angry as I was when I found out from sources that she didn't want to go out with me.

And besides, if she went out with me, think of all the street cred she could get! When someone asked her what's going on, she could answer, "Nothing. Except I'm sleeping with my boss." How cool would that be? And yes, of course we'd have sex when we went out. Isn't that a bit obvious?

Eriol, if you're reading this, thanks man. You just saved me three hundred dollars in ten minutes because of this blog. I swear, if I wasn't doing this, her windows would have gone to the graveyard. Not that I hate her, of course. Maybe that's why I feel (I hate that word) so crappy. I just can't make myself hate her like I did when we just met. Is there a lusting curing medicine out there? I need one. Cause I only lust for her. It's not like I love her or anything. Um, yeah.

I actually feel pretty happy, too. I share an apartment with her right now, and from here while she's in the bathroom, I have a pretty good view of her naked ass. So hot. I bet whipped cream would taste good on there. I know I would lick it all off…

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_Hello. You've reached the voicemail of Eriol. Give me your name and number, and I'll call you back. That includes you hot girls that call for Syaoran. BEEP!_

_Hey, dude, nice voicemail. Ha. Anyway, I was wondering if- _No, Trina, wait, Daddy will be right there!_ What was I saying? Oh yes, I was wondering if you knew how to-_ Wait, Chi, baby, I'm on the phone! No, I'm not asking about the guitar lessons! I was asking if he's seen a fire-breathing dictionary before! They come from Antarctica, you know! _Anyway, Eriol, seriously, do you know how to play the guitar? Chi wants to play and earn some money for you guys and_- Trina, yes I'm coming. Just hold on as long as you can! _She kind of is very horrible sounding. In a sexy way of_ - Trina, no! Don't pee on my shoes! Oops. Sorry Daddy, I is too late. But, hey, you says to holds on as longs as I cans. So I dids! _Hi Uncle Eriol, I just pees on daddys new shoes! BEEP!_

_Eriol Hiragizawa, you baka! You're taking other girls numbers when we're going out? That's it, we're over! I hate you! BEEP!_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

To: Insane

From: Concerned

Sub: What's wrong with you?

Li-

You idiot! What's with all the stuff on your blog? You sounded so helplessly in love when you were m-mailing me and now you just sound like a perverted bimbo on there. You do know that everybody at work knows about it, and so do Mei, Tomo, Chi, Yamizaki, and everyone else! I'm so disappointed!

By the way, do you know why Meiling broke up with me again? I thought we were over when that waiter spilled that iced tea on her head. I guess not.

Hiragizawa

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To: Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R, S-Z

From: E. Hiragizawa Li Corp., V.P.

Sub: Well…

I am going to assume that you read Li's online blog when I write you, my friends, my companions this. He definitely wants Kinomoto, but not in the desired way. For me anyway. How did seventy-five percent of you know this was the way he would want her. For sex, and lust. I, for one, am just so disappointed. I wanted my best friend to fall in love. I guess that's not the case.

On the good side, a multitude of you will be winning items for this. So, R.O.L.D. members, get ready to discuss, because we're going for more than justa desk.

Hiragizawa

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To: Hiragizawa

From: Li

Sub: -

Sorry, dude, I was just super pissed. I really do like her. I just know now, since Tomoyo told me, that I'm just not the one for her. Maybe I should just keep on going out with, um, what's her name? I seem to have forgotten… I have to go. She's putting up her Christmas tree and looks so sexy doing it. Hey, blame the hormones.

Li

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To: Tomoyo

From: Yamizaki

Sub: Huh?

I didn't send you that second e-mail! I don't think you're stupid, especially since you caught me and Eriol after we took you bra to fling water balloons the second time. You know, the bra was made originally to fling water balloons, but changed it for girls' breasts because the fit in them better than water balloons.

Yamizaki

I think your ideas are pretty great, though. Farting and Pooping food items. Classic.

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To: Miss. Tomoyo

From: Ron's Food Service

Sub: Hmph!

We will have great pleasure in not doing business with you! How rude your m-mail was, we can't express in words. Have a miserable day. Good Bye.

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a/n wow. i worked my ass of to get this out by today. i think this is my longest chapter. yay me!

a/n: if you got confused reading the voice message from yamizaki to eriol, sorry. the italics is what he's saying to eriol and the regular font is what he's saying to chiharu and his kid, trina.

questions or comments? Review! Plz.

xoxo

rendezvousinparis1892


	9. Chapter 9

Satisfaction Not Gauranteed

Syaoran's Girl

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a/n: Oh my goodness, SO SO SO sorry for not updating any sooner. My competer was just acting horrible. So to make it up to any readers I have left, after the actual chapter, I wrote a little something extra just for you. So hope you enjoy!

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Wake up, Li!

Ugh. What time is it?

It's exactly 6:57. Get up!

Why? I'm going back to sleep.

Fine, Li, you leave me no choice.

What are you going to do, Ahh! Ha ha ha!

I needed to go to desperate measures!

Ok, fine, stop tickling me! I'll get up!

Good boy. Hmm...I'm talking to you like you're my pet or something.

I'll be your sex pet.

Hmm...

I'm just going to pretend you didn't say that.

Deal.

Well, I'm going to go wash up. Get ready, I want to take you somewhere.

All right.

You know, you can stop following me into the bathtub now.

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Help me! Where am I? HELP! SOMEONE, I'M BEING KIDNAPPED!

Oh my goodness, how can he still talk through that scarf?

I don't know, Tomo-

Ahem...

Oh, sorry Mei-oh sorry again, I mean Red Bird. Anyway, Tomo- I mean Purple Bird, oh I don't know.

Stupid bird, just be quiet. I'm driving.

I thought I was Blue Bird?

Ahem.

Sorry. Quieting.

HELP!

Red, were the handcuffs really neecessary? I mean, you touched his dick whil trying to get it on.

Hey! My dick is pretty hot! And big! Oh, HELP!

You know no one can hear you, right? We're in a car!

So? HELP!

Hey, Blue, didn't you tie down your hubby once while you guys were screwing each other?

Too shy to answer?

Shh. I'm not allowed to talk.

Oh my goodness. You can talk, ok?

Oh. Ok! Well, yeah, I tied him down-

That's kind of hard to believe.

Be quiet, Red, drivers can't talk.

Did you just tell me to be quiet?

HELP! Oh, you know what? My friend Yamizaki and his wife always tie each other down when they're doing it.

Oh really? Blue, you ok? You're turning kind of red...

Dude, do you tell all your kidnappers about your friend's love life?

Yes, because I thought that you would feel sorry for me.

I would feel sorry for your friends having the time of their life screwing each other.

See!

I was being sarcastic.

You know, you remind me of my ex. She was sarcastic, too, and evil, and controlling,

Oh really? Well, what do you know, we're here. Take him out girls. Time for him to see his kidnappers.

First, if we're at a deserted garage and you girls want to rape me, do it with three hours between each one, please? I hurt. Oh good, you're taking my blindfold- Mei? Tomoyo? Chiharu? Hi, girls! Umm...Oh look, we're at the LogiTech. They have great coffee you know...You look like you're going to kill me, Mei.

Oh, yes I will, with my sarcastic wit and evil hands because I obviously control your life!

Eriol always says stupid things. Mei, just calm down. Actually, then again, that's not going to work. Chi, tie her down, will you?

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Are you ready yet?

You know, Kinomoto, you sure could use the exra time in the bathroom...

Yes, because I need time to pluck all my nose hairs, too, and practice sucking in my stomach. I really am going to find out your weight. You look bigger.

Every body part cou- Hey what are you doing in here? Couldn't get enough of me last night?

I liked your nose hairs the best.

Huh?

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To: T. Yamizaki

From: E. Hiragizawa

Sub: HELP!

Oh dear God, you wife scares me (not as much as Mei and Tomoyo, thank goodness)! They are obsessed. With what, you say? With bringing Kinomoto and Syaoran together, that's what. They want me to do whatever I can to help them, because they say I know Syaoran the best. Help me get out of this! I would be invading into his personal life for this! And that's rude!

Hiragizawa

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To: The person I feel sorry for

From: The person that doesn't care enough to help

Sub: Hehehe

Ha. That's funny, man. Yeah, I heard Chi talking about that. I think they're going to name themselves Syaoran's Angels. I was about to laugh when I heard it, but it sounded kind of hot after a couple of seconds. Did you know that the word 'hot' comes from Egypt when a lowly servant tried to touch his beautiful, sexy queen and got burned in the process? That's why sexy girls are hot.

Yamizaki

By the way, me and Chi were hearing it up in the bed last nigh, but when I took out the, well, ropes, cause I thought they were freakisly dirty and sexy, she turned all red and ran in out kitchen completely, well, I don't want you to know how naked she was. But it was a pretty picture. That I don't want you to think about. So I'll just stop talking about it. But it wasn't so hot when she started throwing up...I wonder why. Hey, so you think that Kinomoto would buy a tomoto that automatically makes a person stop talking? Pretty genuis. If I could make one. Interesting...

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_Big Guy: Hey._

_MidnightRendezvous: Li? You brought your laptop?_

_BigGuy: Of course not. I'm on my phone. Just like you are because you didn't bring a laptop, and if you did, I don't think you'd bring it in the restroom of a train. Besides, didn't you see me walk out of your apartment with nothing?_

_MidnightRendezvous: Are you that bored to have to do this while I'm doing my business? And I told you that you looked a little bulky this morning in the stomach area, so you could have put it in there._

_BigGuy: I would help you with your busines, but I don't want you to kick my ass, but if you lick it instead...And I am not bulky, I still only weigh 177 pounds. And most of it's muscle._

_MidnightRendezvous: First, if you really wanted to help me with my business, all you hadto do was ask- I'd pee on you instead of the toilet any day. 177, huh? Told you I'd get your weight out of you one of these days. Never knew it'd be so soon though._

_BigGuy: I'm not going to answer your business proposition. Or the weight one._

_MidnightRendezvous: Are you looking through my purse?_

_BigGuy: Of course not! That would be an invasion of privacy! I would never stoop that low!_

_MidnightRendezvous has just signed off. _

Ahem.

Oh. Hi Kinomoto. Um...

Uh huh. _I would never stoop that low, it's an invasion of privacy!_

You're right. I'd stoop lower.

See, I made you smile.

So, a tampon? Always figured you would be a little more cranky when this happened.

Ok, smile's gone.

I think I'll just shut up.

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To: The person that will be in a car accident someday

From: The person who drove the car

Sub: Some friend you are

Yamizaki

Thanks man. You're a real help. But, I'll forget about it. You're funeral's coming up soon anyway.

From I beat four men at one, what makes you think I can't take you Hiragizawa

About your sex problem: Not helping you. Who's sexless now?

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Chi, are you done in there yet?

Hold your horses. I'm almost ready.

Tasha's, ouch, getting a tad. ouch, impatient. She really wants to go to he fair NOW. Her foot's the most, ouch, impatient.

She's your neice!You figure out something!

What are you doing in there anyway? Ouch!

I'm, uh, doing my, um, make up? Got to cover up those big old bags!

What's wrong? And what's that sound? You sound sick. Are you, ouch, ok?

Nothing's wrong, and I'm not sick, it's my hair getting stuck in the toilet!

You know, last time you said that something was ugly was the time you had, well, a nasty problem, remember? And you do know that you're a horrible liar, right?

No, see, I'm fine and ready, all out the bathroom, with all my hair. Let's go.

If you say so...

How'd you get Natasha to be quiet?

I told her that if she went outside and saw a hotdog shaped cloud, her hand would magically grow all the way up to it and grab it. And when she ate it, it would hot-dog cotton candy. She raced right out.

When she's older, I hope she's pretty.

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To: Li Corp. Employees. A-H, I-R, S-Z

From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

Sub: Well...

Assuming that Li will indeed be gone because of his little rendezvous with Miss. Kinomoto (Any bets that you would like to raise, go on ahead), I will be taking over his position for now. Yes, it is not authorized, but Li would probably let me. I think. But, as my first mission as your C.E.O is to buy some identical desk to replace his original one that we (R.O.L.D) will take in three days ( the 27th), so get ready members. Because we still have to hack into his office.

E. Hiragizawa

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Kinomoto, you took me t work with you? On the day before Christmas Eve? I thought you'd take me somewhere to get my present! If you're working, can I go look around or something? That six hour delay makes my sexy legs sore.

Oh, be quiet. You sound like such a four year old. That delay was actually perfect timing. Don't look so confused. Come on, I'll show you.

You aren't even open today.

How'd you know?

You're sign says so.

You can read French?

Yeah, pretty well.

That's pretty hot. That really turns me on.

Really?

Yeah.

What's wrong?

I thought after I said really, you'd answer with no or something.

Are you blushing? Aww...And now you're turning away from me. You're so adorable sometimes.

You know what; Just do what you came her to do!

You're beat red! Alright, I'll stop.

You're not breaking and entering are you? Because if you are, and the police come, I'll, I'll...

You'll what?

I'll try and help you get out of it.

Thanks.

Yeah.

Um...

Well...

Oh, it's open. And I'm not breaking and entering. What good boss of a company does that?

You've done it?

It was for a good cause! I locked myself into the bathroom and couldn't get out, so I jumped through the window and had to break into the front doors cause I was the only one in the building!

That doesn't turn you on, does it.

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_It's Tomoyo. Leave your name and number, and I'll do my best to call you back! BEEP!_

_Hey, Tomo? Listen, I made resevations for me and Mei tomorrow night at that swanky French plave on Fifth, but we're kind of broken up. and I don't want to ask her, so will you go with me? I'd really appriciate it, and I know how much you wanted to try that place, but you couldn't because it was too expensive. So that's why I didn't cancel the reservation. So, will you come? Oh, and thisis Eriol, in case you didn't know. BEEP!_

_Tomoyo? It's Chi. I really need your help, um, I think I'm, I'm... I'm coming Natasha. Never mind, Tomo. I'll have to tell you later. BEEP!_

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Kinomoto, can you un-blindfold me now?

No, just wait. I think you'll like it.

Why'd it just get so cold?

We just stepped outside, you sissy.

Are you going to un-blindfold me now?

Yeah. Are you ready?

Of course I'm- Wow.

Do you like it? I was going to wait until tomorrow, since it's Christmas, but I figured you would probably want to do something with someone else.

How'd you know that peonies are my favorite flower? There's got to be at least a thousand in these vases and strung up there. And how did you get those lights inside them? And this song, it's my favorite, too, just like how I only like these candles. How did you know?

Do you know how you sound? You're like a kindergartner getting his first gold star. It's really cute. Um, but really, that day you went shopping with me, you told me so much about yourself, and your childhood that I'm kind of surprised that you wouldn't think that I wouldn't remember your favorite stuff. You told me that every Christmas you'd always have to work- no work or surprises or presents, so I made this. Sorry that it's at my workplace, though. My apartment would be too small.

You're so amazing.

You're really close right now.

I can get closer, but only if you want.

Your husky voice is really hot.

Sakura...

Yes...Syaoran.

I want to be your boyfriend.

What.

I want you to be mine.

Did you know that I knew that you were going to ask me out?

You did? Why are we whispering?

Because. Just because. But yes I did. And I was going to say no because you're such a jerk to everyone else except me.

What about now? I'll be nicer. For you.

Now I don't know. Ir's really hard to say no with you being so...near me.

Then say yes.

Why?

Because I love you.

I, I... Mmm.

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_This is Hiragizawa. You can leave your name and number, but I probably won't call you back. Unless your name is Tomoyo. Then that's a different story. BEEP!_

_Eriol? Yes my name is Tomoyo. I'd love to go to the restaurant with you, but I'm paying for what I order. No questions asked, ok? I can't wait! BEEP!_

_Well, sir, since my name's not Tomoyo, I guess I can't give you the million dollars you've just- _

What do you want Yamizaki?

You sound happy?

So what if I am?

Did you get free porn again?

No, better. but what did you want?

Oh nothing. I'm just a little worried. Chi's been in the bathroom a lot.

You know it could be her, well, you know. Time.

No, it's not. It was two weeks ago. I remember because that night-

Don't need to know, man.

Completely understand. Oh, she's out now. See you in, I don't know, a couple of days?

Probably. Bye.

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How much times have you kissed a guy?

I don't know. Why?

Because you were really good.

Wow. This coming from 'I'm the sexiest man alive, so girls just line up to kiss me.'

Damn right.

I have a question. Why do you want to date me? You could have any girl you wanted.

Because I've never been so attracted to someone this much before. And I like the feeling.

So I'm a test subject?

Not even close, Sakura. You're so much more than that to me. I love you, remember?

Did I leave you speechless? Start talking.After all,your mouth was the first thing I feel in love with.

Syaoran?

Yeah?

Can I kiss you?

You don't even have to ask, babe.

Can I touch you?

Again, no need for asking.

Can I love you?

Sakura?

Yes?

I sure hope so.

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Chi are you ok? I wouldn't have let you go on thatride with me and Trisha if I knew you were going to barf!

Honey?

Yes?

I'm pregnant.

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a/n: Okay, since the chapter's done, here's the little one-ish page something. It's the Sakura/Syaoran scene written in, idk, actual writing? I don't know what you would call it. But I loved that scene a lot, and I couldn't discribe it very well without descriptions, so I wrote this to make it better for you guys.

------------------

"Kinomoto, can you un-blindfold me?" Li complained, again. Sakura sighed. If this wasn't so important to her, she had a feeling that she'd probably just walk him off the roof onve they got there. But then, she'd probably jump right after him to catch him, because she wouldn't want him to get hurt.

"Just wait, a little. I think you'll like it." She answered for what had to bet the hundredth time. She looked at him, all tense, but relaxed at the same time. The tense part, mainly his shoulder, made Sakura have an urge to massage it, just so he would be completely peaceful. But they he'd look even more like an angel. She opened the door to the roof, and made sure he didn't hurt himself.

Why'd it get so cold?" Sakura was so busy staring at him, that she didn't notice that he was shivering. She smiled. He was such a baby.

"We just went outside, you big sissy." Sakura giggled.

"Kinomoto, are you going to take this thing off now?" He started to get a little annoyed. Well, actually, he was a little annoyed when she out the blindfold on. Now he was, well, very annoyed.

"Sakura got directly in front of him and started untying the know in the back. "Yes. Are you ready?" Her hand dilly-dallied in his hair. It was so soft.

"Of course I'm re- Wow." There was a small table in the cented with a sigle candle on it, next to some plates with peony petals all over them, and a wine bottle, completemented by a vase of peonies. Peonies were also strung from the poles with little lights in them, making them look like little floating rain-bow colored fairies sustained in the white, starry skies. Candles were also placed around everywhere, and Syaoran noticed that it was his favorite and only scent that he liked, and that the music that was playing was his favorite song.

Sakura smiled. He liked it. She had woke up at three today to set everything up here. "How did you konw that I liked peonies and cherry scented blossom candles? There's got to be at least a thousand peonies here!"

"You told m so musch about you and your childhood on that day that we went shopping, that I'm surprised that your surprised that I wouldn't remember." Sakura smiled ta him. Li returned the warm smile and stepped closed to her.

"You're so amazing." He said huskily. His amber eyes were locked to her emerald ones.

You're really close." It was true- they couldn't have been more than a centimeter apart.

"I can come closer, if you want." Sakura nodded, and he stepped as close as he could, completely closeing the space between them. His arm wrapped around her waist and he bent down so their noses touched.

"You know, I love your husky voice. It's really hot." Her voice was down to a whisper. He was that intoxicating.

"Sakura?" Sakura's eyes widened. She was scared about how happy him calling her that made her feel.

"Yes?" She mumbled. She looked down.

"I want to be your boyfriend." She looked up again. Her eyes questioned his.

"Why?" She said it so silently, that she thought he might not have heard her. But he did.

"Because I love you." It was that simple. He closed his eyes and bent even more down to kiss her. But before, he paused for a second, waiting for something to say that he could continue. He felt her coming closer and nod a bit, as if she could read what he was thinking. She did want this, too. He touched her lips gently, barely, with his lips, moving them ever so slightly and softly. She was doing the same. They lingered on thie for a couple of seconds, before Syaoran. his manly dominance and hormones taking over, started to part his mouth and kiss her a little more deeply. So, he was extremely exhilaarated when she parted her lips for him to come in. He held her with both arms, while five of her fingers were lost in his hair, and the other five was playing wih the part of his bare chest that was showing from his shirt. Their tongues, now in the dance, danced with each other, as if they had been doing it for years. Syaoran had never kissed a girl with this much passion before and he had never been responded to so purely. They again, even his sex life wasn't as amazing as this one kiss.

After a couple of minutes, they broke the kiss panting for air while leaning on each other's forehead for support. "That was amazing, Syaoran."Sakura said sweetly. He smiled. She was s sexy.

"Same here. Makes me wonder how many guys you've kissed before..."

"Syaoran!"

"Sorry!" They looked at each other and laughed.

"But I have a question."

"Ok."

Sakura took a breath. "Why'd you choose me, out of all the girls you could have?"

"Because I've never been so attracted to someone before. And I like the feeling."

Sakura felt her heart pang. "So, I'm just a test subject."

"You're so much more than that to me, Sakura." It was so romantic, with all th caldles and music playing. But then again, they could be in a dump and Sakuta would still think it was the best day of her life.

"Syaoran, can I kiss you?" Syaoran smirked. She looked so innocent saying it.

"You don't even have to ask, babe."

"Can I touch you?"

"Again, don't need to ask."

"Can I love you?" Sakura stood on her tiptoes, so they were face to face. Syaoran couldn't help noticing that their lips were a hair apart.

"Sakura, I really hope so."

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a/n: Well, that's it. Again, super duper sorry for the long wait. I'll try to update sooner- but I'm not making any promises.

Reviews motivation! lol. And plus,I do want to know what you'd like for me to improve on and stuff.

Anyway, toodles!

xoxo

Rendezvous in Paris1892


	10. Chapter 10

Satisfaction Not Guaranteed

------

Potatoes and Slingshots

------

a/n: Again, so sorry for the long wait. AIMS Testing and all that stuff this whole week...Ugh. You know I luv you all. Well, here you guys go! It's a bit conversation...heavy, but I felt like I couldn't put this chapter through e-mail and stuff because it's Christmas (for them anyway), and I thought that was kinda important.

Disclamer: Wow. Forgot this for a long time...whoopsies. Well, CCS does not belong to me. At all. Period.

------

You're, you're, you're PREGNANT?

You don't have to yell!

Sorry. I'm just, wow. You're pregnant.

Yamizaki, I know we didn't plan this, this soon, but you don't have to get all angry about it! You've been angry ever since last night!

I'M NOT ANGRY!

Then why are you yelling?

I'M NOT YELLING!

I can't believe you!

So, now you're just running away?

That would probably sound better than 'I need to barf' wouldn't it.

Yeah…

Ok. Well, I'M RUNNING AWAY NOW!

To the bathroom?

I'll climb out the window!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good morning, sexy.

Morning, Syao.

Syao?

Yeah. My new nickname for you. Thought of it while you were in the bathroom. I think it sounds pretty hot.

Do what you want to do. I guess-

Oh my goodness!

What?

Why are we naked?

…

Why are you laughing?

Because this is a trick question, right?

No…This is serious! I would like to know why our clothes are off!

Sakura, you're starting to scare me…

Because I want to know why my boobs are visable to you?

They are?

Stop it!

Sakura, we had sex last night. I think I already saw them.

WHAT!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_You've reached the voicemail of Tomoyo. Leave your name and number and I'll try to call you back. BEEP!_

_Well, I hope you're not calling random guys back…Anyway; it's me, Eriol-_

Hello?

_Tomoyo? Hey._

What's up?

_Tonight, you don't mind if we end early do you? I have some personal affairs to attend to._

You sound so business-like.

_I try._

But, yeah, that's fine. Christmas stuff?

_Today's Christmas? Oh yeah, I completely forgot. You didn't have plans to cancel because of me did you?_

No, I'm fine. You forgot Christmas?

_Yeah. Stupid me. Did you want anything?_

No, I'm fine. Trust me.

_If you're sure… Oh, I have to go. I'll pick you up at 7, alright?_

Yeah, that's great. Bye.

_Bye._

You weren't desperate at all.

Me? Desperate? What do you mean, Rika?

Racing to the phone to answer him when you heard his voice is a tad desperate.

It's not _that _desperate…

Judging from your attire, I beg to differ. I mean, you're in a _towel_.

_You _say potato, _I_ say vodka. What we think of the word 'desperate' are two different things.

Obviously. But speaking of vodka, do you have any?

Why?

Because my boyfriend called yesterday to come over right away, when it was snowing, so I did, and I ran into a wall. Huge headache now. Need alcohol.

On second thought, maybe _I_ say potato and _you _say vodka.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R S-Z

From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.

Sub: URGENT!

Attention! I'm sorry, but we have to the operation (R.O.L.D.) operation TOMORROW! I will personally visit his office tonight, and check on some stuff, to see how complicated it will be. Hope this is not too inconvenient for anybody. If it is…too bad, because if you signed up and don't show up tomorrow, _you're fired_.

Merry Christmas!

E. Hiragizawa

By the way, do any of you men know a good place that's open today to get a girt for a girl by tonight?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alright, Sakura. Can you take it now?

Ok. Try saying it again. Tap me harder this time.

We. Had. Sex. Last. Night.

You call that hard?

You really don't remember? I gave you my best performance last night!

Syaoran…. I'm sorry.

Sakura, don't cry…It's…ok.

No, it's not. I don't remember the first time with the man I really love.

Sakura?

Yeah?

I love you, too.

Thanks Syao.

Now, about that first time thing…

Yeah?

It was your first time ever, right?

No…

Just say yes.

Didn't know you were so jealous Syaoran.

I'm not jealous!

Yes, you are!

Do you think other couples fight like this?

No, but our relationship would be terribly boring if we didn't constantly chew each other's neck off…

Sadly, that's pretty true.

So can I chew on your neck?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_This is the voicemail of Chi! Name and number and I'll try to call you back! No promises though! BEEP!_

_Chi? This is Rachel. My Tasha has started yelling and screaming at all the boys in the neighborhood, claiming it's what you do with Yamisaki to show how much you love each other! Set her straight! Not implying that she's gay…Just that- you know what I mean._

Yamisaki… I miss him, Tomo. He hasn't come home.

Relax, Chi, it's only been a couple of hours. He'll come back.

Thanks. Oh, you should go get ready for your date with Eriol. Don't want to keep him waiting.

First, it's not a date. Don't give me that look! And second, I don't want to leave you alone like this.

Tomoyo, if you knew me at all, you would know that I would feel better if you went and had fun.

Chi…

Go…please? Tell me everything tomorrow. Please?

Alright…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: E. Hiragizawa

From: R. Sandusky

Sub: Need a gift?

There's a place I go for me and my wife's enjoyment. Thought you might want it since you need it by _tonight_. Here's the address: 741 E. Ebony Boulevard. Enjoy!

R. Sandusky

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: R. Sandusky

From: E. Hiragizawa

Sub: Thanks

Expect a pay raise sometime soon, bro.

Hiragizawa

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you mean that men make better rulers than women?

I didn't say _that_ at all. I just said that women let their emotional needs get in the way of doing the completely right thing all the time.

Oh, and you men and you 'war' solves everything!

We don't use war for everything! We use common sense and politics!

Common sense? You actually have some? My goodness, I guess you do learn something new everyday!

Sir, madam, please, calm down. This is a high class restaurant. It's Christmas. People are expecting a quiet evening! Please shut up!

Actually, I couldn't help but overhear.

Miss, weren't you at the table on the other side?

Ok, fine, I snuck over earlier to hear these two young people earlier. Would you give me a minute with them?

As you wish.

Sakura, that raspberry wasn't necessary.

Yes, it was!

No, it wasn't!

Excuse me?

Oh, sorry. Did you want something?

Yes. My name is Jolie Fruggard, star reporter, and I was wondering if you would consider joining us at _People Today _magazine and answer some few opinion-based questions, seeing as you guys have so many.

I don't think so…

Yeah, me neither. Sorry, Miss.

Alright, let's put it this way. I'll write what we'll pay you and then give me you answer.

Ok…

Won't change anything, though…

We'll see. Here you go.

…

…

When would you like us to come in?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Li

From: Hiragizawa

Sub: I feel like murdering someone right now. I'm with Mei on this one.

Li, you know that stock and marketing employee, Sandusky? Well, I asked for a gift shop to get something for Tomoyo, right? He gives me a sex shop! Of course I didn't know that it was that at first, so I went in and bought so much stuff, and I can't bear to remember any more.

Hiragizawa

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flashback

_Miss, I'd like to purchase these things._

_For someone you're intimate with?_

_Yeah, we're pretty good friends. She told me once that when she was a kid, she loved to shoot bows and arrows, so I got her one. Well, the bow. I guess you don't carry arrow here._

_What bow?_

_This one? I mean, it's kind of soft, and stringy, but I assume it's the girl version?_

_You haven't been with a lot of girls have you, sir?_

_No, why- Oh sorry, I have to go. Thanks for everything, Miss!_

_Wait, sir, that's a- oh forget it._

---

_So, what did you get Tomoyo?_

_Promise you won't get jealous, Mei?_

_Why would I get jealous?_

_Because I would never put this much thought into your gift. _

_Nope, not jealousy…An insane feeling to…kill someone, could it be?_

_Ha, ha, very funny, Mei. Anyway here they are!_

_Oh my God! How far do you plan on getting tonight with her?_

_What do you mean?_

_What's this?_

_A bow!_

_It's a THONG, Yamisaki!_

_What? I thought a thong was a stringy underwear that…Oh._

_And what's this?_

_It's a dress for the big doll I won her a couple of years ago!_

_No, it's a teddy! It's like more like sexy underwear!_

_What? _

_Yes! Oh, God. What store did you go to?_

_X-Rated…_

_And you didn't know it was a sex shop?_

_I don't know! You're confusing me!_

_I feel bad for Tomoyo. You can't give her any of these things without her thinking you're a pervert._

_Ugh! But at least, please say this is a slingshot._

_Don't tell me you don't recognize what that is._

_A slingshot for two balls! They even had different sizes!_

_Yes, Eriol, let's go with that._

End Flashback

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

To: E. Hiragizawa

From: S. Li

Sub: Wow.

Wow. Again. I didn't think you were serious when I first read it. But then I realized you were. And how sad it was. Sorry. But, anyway, this woman heard me and Sakura (yes, we are going out now) arguing and offered to pay us to, well, I guess argue for her magazine. At first we refused, but after she told us how much she'd pay us…It was a lot. It was 1/8 of what we owe Shay International. So what could we do but accept?

Li

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

S. Li's Blog

Hey. If you're still reading this, I assume that you're pretty lonely right now, seeing that it is Christmas. And, you guys were all losers anyway, to find this blog in the first place, but let's not continue on with that. My girlfriend's in the tub right now. She's feeling a bit better now that we earned some serious cash, but still a bit depressed that she couldn't remember…our…activities last night. I'm trying to restrain myself from bursting into the tub right now and doing…things.

So how do I feel right now? Hmm…

Hard…my back aches (ha, bet you thought the other way…then again, that's true too…Sakura naked in a tub…ohh…)

Amused…my, sad to say, friend thought a thong was a bow and arrow.

Ready…for something…do I need to say more?

Drunk…We had a bit too much to drink.

Wow. Interesting. The first letters of them all spell HARD. If that's not a sign for sex, I don't know what is.

I'm starting to see why my friend thought I was a bit perverted. Blame the free porno we got for months last year. The pleasure…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi Eriol!

Hey Tomoyo. You look good. Ready to go?

Is something wrong?

No, it's just…nothing.

What is it?

Iwenttoasexshopandboughtyouabunchofnaughtthingsthatithoughtwassomethingelsebecauseididntknowthatitwasasexshopinthefirstplace.

What?

I went to a sex shop and bought you a bunch of things that I thought was something else because I didn't know it was a sex shop in the first place.

Wow. I wasn't expecting that.

Are you mad?

Oh, no, of course not! I was just surprised! I mean, what would you say if I walked in like you did and said that?

I would have thought that it was really hot.

Oh my goodness. Guys.

Yeah. So, are you ready to go? I don't want to be late. I think you're really going to like it milady.

Alright, let's- mmm…

Ready?

Y-yeah.

------

To: Tomoyo

From: Chi

Sub: hmm…

Ok, you're probably not back from your date with Eriol yet, but I just had to write you this. Yamizaki came home while I was in the tub, and decorated everything. It's…indescribable. I'm just so happy hat he came back. I just wanted to let you know that so you would know that I'm okay, cause you were SO worried (not that I'm complaining…). Hehe. Anyway, how was your date? Tell me all about it.

Chi

------

To: Chi

From: Tomoyo

Sub: Well, well, well…

Someone had a good Christmas. Good, because you deserve it Chi. My day was…interesting. Eriol came to my apartment and told me he went into a sex shop, that he didn't know was a sex shop, and got me a whole bunch of stuff. It's pretty funny once you think about it. But we had a really good time. I…really like him. And, plus, now I have more bras, teddies, and thongs. Exactly what I wanted for Christmas. Did I tell you he kissed me? Yep, twice- once before we left my apartment, and after we got back. It was amazing.

Tomoyo

-------

Hey Syaoran?

Yeah?

I never gave you my present for Christmas.

You don't have too. You know what I wanted.

Come on; just give me a minute…

Ruin the moment, why don't you?

You're such a girl!

Excuse me? My penis is bigger than any girl's!

Syaoran, how's it feel to be right about something for the very first time?

Ha, ha. Very funny.

Hold on, ok?

Yeah.

------

You're under arrest, sir!

No, you see, this is my friend Syaoran Li's office! He's the president, and I'm the vice-president!

Oh, really?

Yes!

Oh, well, in that case let us introduce ourselves. This is Baloo, the king of Balooland and I'm Galoo, the king of, guess what, Galooland!

No, wait!

Don't mess around and we'll try to take off a couple of years!

What?

You were breaking and entering, sir.

No, ouch that hurts! You hit my breast!

------

Here it is, Syao.

Well, here's yours.

You got me something?

Of course!

Alright, well open them together, on three, ok?

One…

Two…

Three…

You got me a teddy bear….

You got me a teddy bear….

I love you Syaoran Li.

I love you Sakura Kinomoto.

-------

a/n: hope u liked. : ) any ideas 4 the nxt chapter will be g8tly appreciated. Other wise, expect it out in a week or two. Or three. Hehe. Anyway, reviews appreciated. To those who reviewed...thanks so much. it really means a lot to me! You rox! Luv u guys dearly...but not queerly anyway.

toodles til nxt time

xoxo

Redezvous


	11. Chapter 11

Satisfaction Not Guaranteed

------

Sexist People and Spoiled Bitches

------

Wow. This is more…stuff than you needed. More than I need.

Yep. So if you ever have another hot night planned…You know who to call.

Yeah, I guess you're right. But I don't think I'll have any of _those _nights any time soon. The baby _is_ coming in a couple of months.

A couple? Don't you mean seven or eight?

Yeah. So?

Never mind, that's not the point. I'm just saying you can still do it when you're pregnant.

Tomoyo! I don't want a perverted baby! And besides, what kid in their right mind wants to see their parents doing it? It'll scar the poor child for life!

Chi! The kid can't see you doing it!

Or _can_ it? It'll grow eyes soon!

Can it?

I don't know!

------

All right men, are you ready?

Ah hem.

Alright, but what's the big deal? There are only five of you!

Excuse us five!

Fine, fine, all right, men and _women_, are you ready?

…

When I ask if you're ready, I want to hear an answer, not sure and whatever. So ARE YOU READY? Hey wait, where are going? You can't get in without me! Well, wait for me!

Hey!

Oh, you women again?

What? Is it our fault you didn't wait for us?

Yeah, you sexist man!

WHAT? I AM NOT SEXIST!

Really? Then why do you follow the men? Huh?

Cause that's where the majority is! I take the majority! If you were in that group, I would have followed you! How hard is that to comprehend? Oh wait, let me answer that…It's NOT!

So you're calling us dumb now?

Holy crap. And I don't even know who the hell you are.

------

I am not going to an art gallery with you! I absolutely refuse to! No, no, no! I am putting my foot down! I am the man in this relationship, and you will honor my wishes! This is not what I planned to do in Paris! Nope, not at all. I do not want to answer people when they ask me what I did in Paris, that instead of shagging you on top of the Eiffel Tower, I went to an art gallery!

So when you jumped on that plane, that's what you were thinking about? Our activities on the Tower?

Come on, you have to admit it sounds hot. I mean my dick is getting hard just thinking-

Auntie Sakura! My daddy has a dick too! And he has an ouchie on it!

…

Li shut up and stop laughing!

Yeah, whoever you are! Better think next time before you talk about your dick to my sister!

Oh. Hi Touya! How's the infection?

------

HI UNCLE YAMIZAKI! YOU'RE SO SMELLY; IT MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE!

Wow. I guess I should have listened to Chi this morning and not had that breakfast burrito. Well, I guess you're lucky that I didn't come over right away, because I swear I was farting like old men, which is quite unattractive. Did you know that the real reason why old men are allowed to talk is because that how much times they fart each hour is how much they are respected. When young people fart, they're just making fun of the elderly, so that's why it's quite rude! You see, the king of Egypt was the original, fart-master as you might call him. When he was seventy years old, he farted over one hundred times in an hour, so-

Wow. Talking to yourself and telling yourself lame stories. That's got to be a first.

Oh hey, Rachael! Where'd Natasha go?

------

For the last time! I don't think you're stupid! You're some of the smartest women I've ever met!

How would you know that, if you don't know us!

Yeah! So that means you're lying to us! Ohh….

Just because we're women doesn't give you the right to lie to us!

You are a rebel mister!

Mister? Who in the world calls me that?

So you _are_ lying to us!

Where's the devil when you need him?

You want to kill us now?

Please God. I haven't done anything wrong! Well, not anything TOO outside the law! I guess breaking and entering is illegal, but I haven't done anything yet…Oh screw it. If you are grateful for my contributions to this world, you'd take my life from me now!

Oh my goodness! He's going to kill himself and then frame us women for it so we'll have a bad name!

Oh, my fucking God, please just take me!

Telling us bad words? Now you're trying to take away the purity of our minds to match the dirtiness of yours?

He's not doing that, stupid! He's gay! Duh.

How do you know he's gay?

He said 'God, please _take me_!'

What makes you think God's a guy? Are you sexist too?

I'm a woman. How can I be sexist against women?

Oh dear God, Hiragizawa's crying.

I would too; if I found out I was gay.

------

I thought that Chi was supposed to come over and help mend this problem.

She was going to, but I figured that since she was pregnant, that I'd do it for her.

Oh really? That's sweet.

I thought so too.

…

…

All right, I want to know what she promised to do for you.

You and I, both.

She didn't tell you?

Nope.

Not a word?

Not one.

Did she go somewhere?

Yeah, over to Tomoyo's house.

Well, I guess all I have to say is…HAHA.

What?

I know what the 'surprise' is.

You're not going to tell me, are you?

Do you have one million dollars?

No…

Do you know that American rich man, Vill Cates?

No…

Do you-

No, ok? NO NO NO NO NO!

Ok. I was just going to ask you if you knew how to stop Tasha from yelling, but I guess you don't!

No, wait, I do!

All right. Well she's in her room, and good luck!

Wait, aren't you going to tell me?

Let me put this in a phrase that you'll understand- NO NO NO NO NO!

------

Daddy, I need to go bathroom again!

All right, sweety, you go right ahead!

Daddy, I've went one, three, five, eight, seven times already!

Don't be silly, this is only the fifth time!

Cause you keep on feeding me water!

It's good for you, baby, now run along.

Ok, Daddy!

…

…

You sick father.

When you have two jobs, you have to make room for both of them.

I didn't understand a word you just said.

WHEN. YOU. HAVE. TWO. JOBS. YOU. HAVE. TO. MAKE. ROOM. FOR. BOTH. OF. THEM.

When I said I didn't understand you, I didn't mean that I couldn't hear a word you said!

So shall I explain to your virgin ears what each word means? I mean, they have probably never even heard of a dictionary before.

You know Kinomoto, I'll have you know that no part of my ears are virgin. I can assure you that!

Wow, Li. That really makes me want to make you my brother in law now!

Touya, did you give Savanna more water so she'd go to the bathroom again, leaving you guys to finish your glare fest?

Hey, we argued in a civilized way!

I heard the word virgin. And then the word 'parts'. How civilized is that?

Well, you see…Oh never mind. You had to be there.

------

All right, Tasha. Listen, ok? You don't yell at people you care about…You yell at people that piss you off. That's all. If you yell at people you care, about, then they'll get mad at you and not care about you at all.

No? Really? Uncle Y? But I yelled at an older boy I liked. And he yelled at me back! I tought we were meant to pee!

Don't you mean meant to be, baby?

That's what I said! Meant to pee!

No, you- Oh forget it. What exactly did this boy say to you?

He told me that I was just a spoiled bitch and that I have a loud mouth!

How old is he?

Twelve years old. He's so cold.

Cold?

Yeah, you know. Good looking!

…Right…

------

To: Not a Virgin

From: Not a Virgin

Sub: Are you still a Virgin?

So…Sakura…What's going on, hmm…? Has he, you know, um, deflowered you yet, huh? I bet it was great. Eriol's pretty good, too. We did _it_ this morning. I think. We both got really drunk. So it could have been a frozen hot dog weenie that went through, and I wouldn't know. Oh crap. I hope that didn't happen.

I could have gotten screwed by a hot dog weenie.

Tomo

------

_MidnightRendezvous: You could have been screwed by a _hot dog?

_KawaiiCherryBlossom: Yes! I'm really scared! I mean, I lost my virginity to a hot dog!_

_MidnightRendezvous: At least the dog was hot! Get it? Hot. Dog. Ha. Ha? _

_KawaiiCherryBlossom: ---_

_MidnightRendezvous: I'm just joking, Tomo. I mean, don't be scared. I'm pretty sure that's impossible._

_KawaiiCherryBlossom: When are you going to get home? I think that'd make me feel better._

_MidnightRendezvous: Listen, my flight's tomorrow. Before I get home, talk it over with Eriol. Okay? He'll tell you that he was the one who screwed you all goodly._

_KawaiiCherryBlossom: Goodly? Is that a word?_

_MidnightRendezvous: I don't know. But it's not showing the red squiggle that it usually does when a word's spelled wrong. We could go look it up in a dictionary to be sure!_

_KawaiiCherryBlossom: You're such a dork Sakura. Thanks._

_MidnightRendezvous: No problem See you, tomorrow, okay?_

_KawaiiCherryBlossom: Yeah. Bye._

_MidnightRendezvous has just signed off at 11:11PM._

_------_

Who was that?

It was Tomoyo.

What did she want?

I don't think I should tell you.

Why?

Cause I would lose her trust if I told you.

Uh huh.

Yep.

You just don't want me to burst out laughing at her.

Heck yes.

Saku, I'm you're boyfriend, and couples don't keep secrets from each other.

No. Don't even think about it.

…

Fine. But I'm going to stalk you until you tell me.

That's the worst threat I've ever heard.

It wasn't a threat, it was a comment.

That was so a threat!

It was a comment.

Threat!

Comment!

I think we should take this to the bed!

The bed?

Yes the bed! Does someone have a problem with the perfectly fine bed?

Yes, someone has a problem with the bed! Cause someone wants to do…something on the bed!

Yes, someone wants to rest their leg on the bed because someone else's brother kicked it extremely hard!

Oh. That's…what….you…want to do. Ok. Well, you did get a good punch in on his arm…if that counts.

------

_You've reached the voicemail of Hiragizawa. If you're expecting a call back, that's too bad, because I'm extremely busy right now. But it's not like I call you back anyway_.

_Hey Eriol? It's Tomo. I need to talk to you. About something that I…lost. I kind of need you to help me…find it. So call me?_

_----_

All right. You know what? You are stupid women, and I wish you would die a horrible death right now! It's one in the morning! What the hell are you doing calling me sexist and those other things I'd rather not say about myself?

Fine. Hiragizawa, you're not sexist at least. But you are under arrest.

Thank- WHAT? Is that a police badge?

Yes. My sister works for your company. I saw the m-mail you sent her about the R.O.L.D. business. It's illegal to break and enter, Mr. Hiragizawa.

That's in invasion of privacy!

Don't change the subject!

Sorry. It was worth a shot. Wait, but are all of you police women?

No, they're my teen-aged children.

…

Mister, I'm not going to let you go if you sleep with me.

DAMN!

-------

Sorry for the late update. My fault. Yeah, it was a bit (ok, really) dialogue heavy, but it'll get less when Saku and Syao get back next chapter. So hang on!

XOXO


	12. Chapter 12

Satisfaction Not Guaranteed

------------------------

a/n: Well, I finally updated. Again. : ) Near the end, there's afoward e-mail that I had Sakura send out to everyone...you don't have to read any of it except the last coulple of lines where there is a riddle. Just thought I let ya know.

Disclaimer: Whoops. I've forgotten this. A lot. hehe. Anyway, I don't owe CCS. Unfortunately.

------------------------

**Pits and Riddles**

**---**

To: Li

From: Hiragizawa

Sub: Well…If you _must _know…

I've gotten myself arrested and am currently located in the top floor of the highest security jail in our city. I would greatly appreciated it if you would come bail me out.

-----------------------------------------------------

To: Hiragizawa

From: Li

Sub: I just lost $100 to Yamizaki…

Because I didn't think you'd end up in jail for at least another four years. But, if you're in a cell, how are you m-mailing me?

------------------------------------------------------

To: Li

From: Hiragizawa

Sub: You had a bet on how long it would take for me to get into jail?

That hurts, man. That really hurts. Which means you should bail me out NOW!

Oh, and I'm m-mailing you on my razor phone now. You'd think the best security in the world think to check in your boxers.

------------------------------------------------------

To: Hiragizawa

From: Li

Sub: You're just sick, man.

You hid your phone in your pants? And you actually talk into it later? Disgusting! How do you do that?

--------------------------------------------------------

To: Li

From: Hiragizawa

Sub: It's quite simple, really…

You purchase a thin phone (note, my razor).

You simply take off your pants and boxers, as if you were stripping ( I suggest putting some music by Cabonna).

You stick the phone on your boxer shorts, but make sure you cover it up with toilet paper, so it's not disgusting, of course.

Pull your pants and stuff up, and voila!

And to use your phone, just simply take off your pants!

-----------------------------------------------------------

To: Hiragizawa

From: Li

Sub: -

I didn't want a description, you boob-less bimbo, I just wanted to know how you could _live_ with doing something as disgusting as that. Why would you do it? And how'd you get in? Don't they have detectors for everything?

-----------------------------------------------------------

To: Li

From: Hiragizawa

Sub: Toilet water tastes like beer.

Lucky, for me, I had my lucky rabbit's foot, because they were having some kind of a lockdown, so all the electronic systems were gone. And I did it, because I was afraid something like this would happen if I got caught breaking into your office.

-------------------------------------------------------------

To: Li

From: Hiragizawa

Sub: You can't erase m-mails that you've already sent, can you.

Umm…of course I didn't break in. I mean, what kind of friend would?

------------------------------------------------------------

To: Hiragizawa

From: Li

Sub: Put a cork in it

Because I already know about your little plan to steal my desk.

------------------------------------------------------------

To: Li

From: Hiragizawa

Sub: What the hell?

How'd you find out? It was strictly confidential!

----------------------------------------------------------------

To: Hiragizawa

From: Li

Sub: You're such a dumb-ass

I have about a thousand employees. Of course I'd find out the latest, what would you call it? Gossip?

--------------------------------------------------------------

To: Li

From: Hiragizawa

Sub: Yeah right

Like any of your workers would ever talk to _you. _Honestly how'd you know?

--------------------------------------------------------------

To: Hiragizawa

From: Li

Sub: Fine…

Every time you m-mail all the employees, I get a m-mail, too.

------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Li

From: Hiragizawa

Sub: I'm putting on my best smirk right now

Ha. I knew no one liked you.

----------------------------------------------------------------

To: Hiragizawa

From: Li

Sub: Your best smirk a clown's best smile

If you wouldn't care to get fired, I'd be quiet.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Ha. Li wouldn't fire me. I'll tell him right…

Talking to yourself, now, are we?

Oh, no, security guard, I was just…

Uh huh, whatever.

No, I wasn't talking to myself! I was m-mailing my boss on my…whoops.

Give me that! Come on, I'm going to take you to the pit.

You're going to take me to the what? Oww, that hurts. I wish you wouldn't pull my hair, it's very delicate since I condition it twice a day.

So that's why it's so soft!

You really think so? Thanks!

What kind of…UGH, shut up! Your getting off topic!

-------------------------------------------------------

To: Hiragizawa

From: Li

Sub: Um…

Are you still there? You still haven't answered my threat that I sent you three hours ago.

--------------------------------------------------------

_This is Li, and if you don't know what to do with the beep, then I highly suggest getting medical attention. BEEP!_

_Hey Syao, it's Sakura. Do you know where Eriol is? She's worrying her ass off, and it's making me worried. Love you, honey…Wow, that felt weird to say._

_Daddy! I need peniscal protection! Whatever that is!_

_LI! PICK UP YOUR DAMN PHONE, AND STOP LAUGHING!_

_------_

_Yes? Who's speaking?_

_Don't get polite on me, Li. What kind of loser says that one will need medical attention if you can't understand the BEEP? Especially when little kids could call you and hear PENISCAL PROTECTION on it!_

_I don't see the problem Kinomoto. Savanna's young. She's not going to understand. And even if she did, peniscal protection isn't even a word._

_Yes, but PENIS is! _

_And she'll find out what that is in a couple of years._

_Are you implying that she'll turn out to be a prostitute?_

_How the fuck that you get that?_

_She'll find out in a couple of years? Does that ring a bell? You're saying she'll have sex soon, because you said 'a couple of years.'_

_Damn, you got me. I didn't think you were stupid._

_Excuse me?_

_They teach family life which include female and male…parts in middle school._

_Oh. Well, then you get off easy this time._

…

_That bitch just hung up on me! Li!_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_MidnightRendezvous: Tomo, calm down, he's probably just out somewhere._

_RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Yeah, I wouldn't worry too much into it. I've known him since we were kids. He's known to wander._

_KawaiiCherryBlossom: No, that's not it. I'm just worried I did something to make him like that._

_RedBeautyisRealBeauty: You guys didn't have a fight, did you?_

_KawaiiCherryBlossom: No, don't worry, nothing like that._

_MidnightRendezvous: So what is it?_

_KawaiiCherryBlossom: I…I…I told him that I loved him…_

_RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Oh my Gosh! So you guys are lovebirds that are really in love now? Awesome!_

_MidnightRendezvous: Hang on Mei. Tomo, you don't sound too excited…What happened?_

_KawaiiCherryBlossom: Well, let's just say the feeling was…mutual…_

_RedBeautyisRealBeauty: See, Sakura, I told you it'd be good!_

_KawaiiCherryBlossom: Actually, it's nothing like that. Like I said, I told him I loved him, and the feeling was mutual…He told me he loved himself, too._

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Please, officer, don't hurt me! I'm too handsome to die alone!

I'm just sending you into the pit! No one has died in the pit!

That's what they want you to think!

Oh wow, you were serious.

Oh dear God, Li! I am so happy to see you!

Can I help you, sir?

Actually, you can…

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Li's Blog

Hmm…Haven't written in this thing in a while. Not like anyone worthwhile is reading it anyway.

Well, Hiragizawa got him self in the slammer today. I honestly thought he was joshing me, but he was telling the truth. When I walked in, there he was in his miserable, pathetic state (yes, even worse than usual), just begging me to get him out. When I did (don't ask me how…it was…disturbing) he just jumped into my arms as if I were the prince and he the princess and held me by the neck and crying in my shoulder. It was bloody embarrassing and, if I may add, quite gay-like of him. Hmm…I do hope he isn't queer.

I should get a secretary to type these up for me. My manicured nails are taking quite a hit from this.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

_RedBeautyisRealBeauty: This only means one thing…He thought you were joking._

_KawaiiCherryBlossom: I don't see where 'I love you' comes across as a joke…_

_RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Babe, this is Eriol…Everything comes across as a joke to him. Just wait a bit before you tell him again…It's only been a week since you guys have started going out…_

_KawaiiCherryBlossom: All right…_

_----------------------------------------------------_------------------------

To: Li

From: Hiragizawa

Sub: So…

I'm usually miserable and pathetic, huh? Thanks.

And one more thing- I'm the queer one, Miss. Manicure?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Hiragizawa

From: Li

Sub: -

Ok, fine, you're too happy to be miserable.

Every C.E.O has to get a manicure once in a while! Can you imagine presenting business propositions with dirty nails? I think not!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

To: T. Daidouji, M. Li, C. Mihara, S. Li, E. Hiragizawa, T. Kinomoto, T. Yamizaki

From: S. Kinomoto

Sub: FW: Let me know if you get the answer. This is neat!

Hey guys. I thought this was pretty cool. See if you can get it.

-Sakura

**_Can you answer this riddle?_**

**_Here is a pretty neat little thing from Paul Harvey. See if you can guess the riddle at the end._**

**_Paul Harvey Writes:_**

**_We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse.. For my grandchildren, I'd like better._**

**_I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would._**

**_I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated._**

**_I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car._**

**_And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen._**

**_It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep._**

**_I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in._**

**_I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him._**

**_When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her._**

**_I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely._**

**_On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom._**

**_If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one._**

**_I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books._**

**_When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head._**

**_I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boygirl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like._**

**_May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole._**

**_I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend._**

**_I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle._**

**_May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays._**

**_I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand._**

**_These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life._**

**_Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you_**

**_Send this to all of your friends. We secure our friends, not by accepting favors, but by doing them._**

**_Paul Harvey RIDDLE:_**

**_When asked this riddle, 80 of kindergarten kids got the answer, compared to 17 of Stanford University seniors._**

**_What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you'll die?_**

**_Send this to 10 people and then press shift and you will get the answer._**

**_P.S.. You won't believe this, but this really does give you the answer! _**

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

Kinomoto-

I can't fucking get your fucking riddle. It's been making me go insane all day.

-Li

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

Language, Syao. I'm your girlfriend. You shouldn't be cussing at me, right now. I should be doing that to you.

-Sakura

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

All right. Sakura. Fine. So what's the- Wait. Why should you be cussing me out?

-Li

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

I saw those secretaries you were interviewing. Very…revealing ladies, are they not?

Honestly, when I read what you wrote on your blog, I didn't think you'd actually do it. Come on, hire secretaries to type for you?

-Sakura

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

Oh. Ok. I see.

My fingers wear out easily!

Answer?

-Li

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

Did you send it out to 10 people?

-Sakura

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

Yeah, I actually did. So ha. And I pressed than damn SHIFT key, but nothing happened.

-Li

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

…

-Sakura

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

Yes...What is it?

-Li

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

It's nothing.

-Sakura

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

Tell me! Now!

-Li

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

Whoops! Sorry, have to go!

Love you, Syao.

-Sakura

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magik M.E.M.O

Oh, and for your reference, I already did!

-Sakura

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: Did you guys get the riddle? I thoght it was a pretty cool riddle, but it actually depends on your POV, too. Well, tell me if you got it anyway : ) Sakura does say what it is and Li does too, unknowingly.

luv ya'll & toodles til next time

Rendezvous-in-Paris

-muah-


	13. Chapter 13

Satisfaction Not Guaranteed

Chapter 13. Sorta

* * *

So, Mr. Hiragizawa, what pleasure do I have of seeing you. Again. 

Oh, Dr. Hedrick, since you helped me so much when I was going through that…_rough time_…in high school, I thought that maybe you could help me out again.

Oh yes. Of course I remember your problem. You thought you were having your period.

Shh! You're not supposed to say that out loud! When you see red in the toilet bowl, you don't think of your supposed to be best friends dumping cranberry juice in there as a prank everyday of the week! You think of period!

As a self-respecting man?

Yes. Besides. That ordeal has taught me to check the toilet bowl every time I go.

Yes I know. You've told me that everyday on the phone for a month after the ordeal.

You know I'm paying you five hundred dollars to help me, right? I could leave any minute.

Did you pay already?

…Yeah.

It's non-refundable.

------

AHHH!

My ears! They're exploding!

Shut up Li and let us be happy for him. You know has your cousin, I command you to be happy for him! Oh my God Yamizaki, you'll let us know how it goes, right?

Yeah, you better. Oh my, Chi will be so happy!

Sakura, why'd you drag me here?

Shut up Syaoran! How are you going to ask her, Yamizaki?

I, well, I was planning on-

He's obviously going to tell her the world is going to explode if she refuses to say yes….

Shut up, Mr. Li!

Naoko? Since when have you been calling him Mr. Li?

Oh. Well. I was planning on getting a job working for him soon.

But who cares about a job right now?

She hasn't said yes yet…

Oh are you nervous?

How cute!

Aww…I wish I had a boyfriend this adorable.

I'm leaving!

Shut up Li!

But he's just going to ask her if he can go to the baby sessions with her! How special is that?

Aren't you leaving?

------

All right. So…there's this woman…

Ahh…Did she tell you that only women can have period?

No. My sex-ed teacher told me that. But anyway, she told me that she loved me. And I kind of blew her off. What can I do?

Wait. You got a woman to fall in love. With you? Does she know about the period incident?

You just don't let things go, do you?

Not when they're as priceless as that.

No, really, I need help.

All right. Fine. I'll pretend I've never met you. So you blew her off, right? Is that because you don't love her. And you didn't want to answer?

You see, that's it…I…don't know if I love her or not.

Tell me how you feel around her.

I, well, I feel really comfortable around her. I mean, comfortable enough to pick my nose right in front of her face! And I'll, I'll never lie to her…and I would completely regret it if I had never met her…

And how long have you been seeing her?

Not very long…two or three weeks, maybe? But you see, these all the feelings that I've had when we were friends way before we went out.

I think you can figure the rest on your own, Mr. Hiragizawa.

You trust me that much?

No, but your session is over. Good bye.

------

Hey Eriol, where have you been? I was worried…

Tomoyo…I…

------

a/n: Yeahh. Short and sweet, huh? Well, the reason is...After re-reading all of it...I've decided that this fic needs a lot of editing...it's hard to tie all the ends that I've started...so a lot of the stuff is just a bunch of random moments. So...it'll probably take me a month or two on this one...editing the chapters one by one...but I'll try to make it worth it...so feel free to check on it every so often...cause by the timeI'm done...the storyline might be a little different. But just a little: D

Rendezvous


End file.
